hey thigh gap.
yaaaaay, yipeeeeee legit legit woooo :)))

au revoir. xo

Honestly do not know why I just ate that avocado sandwich.

Hmm.. pretty pleased with that report !
Honestly thought it wouldn't be that good seeing as I put in less effort than last semester.

The majority of subjects and assessment tasks were A and higher, yaaay actually reaaaally pleased !! :)

And I was pretty close to getting A+ in psych AND physics

ahh I had nooo idea what was going on in this whole semester of physics and I went so well, yaaaaaaay :)

au revoir. xo

TODAY IS GOING TO BE FANTASTIC !

I scored higher in humanities/arts/social sciences than everything else in the GAT.
Actually, funnily enough mathematics/science/technology was my lowest (marginally)

Isn't it funny how I already knew that? Knew that I am better at social sciences and even written communications and yet I still elect to do science?

It's okay, I'm still awesome at science, just more awesome at other things as it seems :P

au revoir. xo

damn, I am a little bummed about methods, oh well shouldn't get too hung up, it's not like I could have expected much better ! :)

au revoir. xo

I know most people's result who got above 40, mwahahahahahaha

au revoir. xo

I wish I cared about my methods mark but I really doooonn't !
Tomorrow will either be 'oh.' or 'ohhhhh !'
Hoping it's the latter :)

oh, you don't check this blog anymore....

Six years ago I would never have thought that I would be hanging out with T, eating pies, playing mario (well..) and just generally chilling with those two while they SIT THERE AND SMOKE an assortment of things (-.-" hehe)It's funny how times change.

Actually if someone told me it would be like this I would probably laugh at them and think of how cool it would be if it actually did.

Social classes no longer exist, well they do but I don't care about theeemm !

au revoir. xo

It's so pathetic that I have to use this blog to communicate how I feel to you.
This was supposed to be my special place but everything is so fucked and I hate it all that.. idk.

I want to talk to you straight up without all that confusing bullshit you pile on me but ya know, that would be reasonable and reason does not exist anymore.

au revoir. xo

I hate you so much for taking the easy way out, how weak of you.

thank you for that riveting conversation.

woooow I feel like shit.

au revoir. xo

I am too sad, life is mundane. Nothing is right, no one cares, you don't care, I'm still sad. Guess I am finally realizing the re-lack of friends, yay. I am still sad because of that other unmentionable thing, next week will be fun, not.

au revoir. xo

not even looking forward to tomorrow, or to waking up.
Don't you worry about me, I am not your responsibility anymore :( Live your easy life, sorry to have caused any inconveniences by being in it, whoops my bad, my fault again.

This is complete rubbish

I.. no nothing, it wont happen anyway.

Be safe tomorrow lizzie, try and not be careless, you're expecting guests, they would like to see you up and about and not on the ground like the fool that you are. You know you can be spontaneous in shitty ways but that is not what you should do. You know you don't care lizzie, but someone does I guess. I mean you don't see it, and people say they do but let's not find out just yet.

All these feels are wrong.

I'm just sad.

I'm not even excited for any ounce of the future. I honestly cannot think of a time I am looking forward to. *sigh*

goodnight world.

all alone again but don't bother your head about me. Think about your friends, your girlfriend, your boyfriend. I lost that title long long ago, well no but uahdsiudhfduifhsdng.

I hope no one reads this.

leaving my house today

au revoir. xo

I can feel my heartbeat through my headphones like a stethoscope.

au revoir. xo

of all people, you are killing me.
how did it get to this?

au revoir. xo

my hot pair of men's sun glasses that are wonky and recently found by a tree

au revoir. xo

ready to go out and spend the day with.. myself.
hmm...

au revoir. xo

Three solid hours later, 8 pages of ~1,500 words and diagrams, biology holiday homework is DONE!

Well not really, because I have to write it all out when I actually get a book but still pheewww

What a great way to spend the first day of holidays !

I will be accepting cash of $30+ for anyone who wants them, mwahahahhaha ;)

au revoir. xo

I opened this, it looked scary, so I quickly close it hoping I would never have to learn that. Phew, that was  a close one !

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Signal_transduction_pathways.svg

au revoir. xo

Seriously, no one has bothered to get up so I am sitting here wasting my day.
Don't let me sleep and yet they don't get up, hmmmmm O.o

I swear if I had a car I would just go myself and everything will be dandy, I'm looking forward to that time !

au revoir. xo

I can't do any fucking work because you wont get out of bed and take me to buy them.
Do you do ANYTHING?!
You're so selfish. fucccckkk !!!!!!!!!!!

au revoir. xo

definitely was not expecting myself to be doing all the sciences (all fours woo) and english as VCE !
It's going to be weird not having a maths, I kind of grew fond of methods but hopefully this will mean I can focus on the subjects I actually enjoy -yes, specialist I was not looking forward to you !

:) ahh I miss you squishy, I was kind of fond of your smile too :) Don't worry, I have faith we will be a-okay ! woooo :)

au revoir. xo

does your heart still skip a beat?

I miss just seeing your smile :)

au revoir. xo

gym gym gym gym gym gym
that's where I want to beeeee

well, I want to be on my bike and ride another 50 or so km however I need recovery time ! :)

au revoir. xo

I got three pedophillic waves today (Y)

au revoir. xo

I am completely stuffed for chem. I mean I have done all the work + more during the semester and have gone relatively well for tests however now I cannot remember anything.
And it's not just memory work, it's the application of tens of formulas in one question and ahhhh I don't know anything yaaaay
And its really hard and I can't do the practice exams and lel hasn't responded to my email so I can't work out of the book and trust that there aren't any proper solutions for the exams on the google site because that would be convenient.

So I just ate a huuuge piece of cake (well I got through most of it and then realized I was too full to eat the icing :(( so I gave it to dad) and now I shall be off to the gym with a friend and they will destroy me there (they actually workout lol) and tomorrow will be very scary for two reasons and I am just not looking forward to the whole thing to be honest and now I need to go and shower because I am supposed to leave in 20mins

And I think I will feel all over the place later but I really shouldn't go for a walk because that will take up time and I just want to sleep and not worry about anything.

aaaahhhh

au revoir. xo

http://subliminal-beauty.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/i-have-actually-lost-everyone.html

and yet back then I had everyone that I needed, and now I don't.

How ironic.

wish we just talked normally and things weren't weird and you looked beyond my way of speech which has quite frankly been there since forever and we discussed things like normal people do but fuck it all because you are happy, and I should be too.

au revoir. xo

I should go to the gym tomorrow, I am just reminding myself.

I wasn't a chapter in your life, I was a person.

Like idddkkk

My calendar reminded me of today's date.
I pretty much broke down crying and that feeling in my stomach has returned. :(

if you tick off five or more of the following symptoms, it's likely you're... well, you know

I don't believe these things as I can easily manipulate it however lol I am procrastinating.
Right, so clearly it could be due to a whole rangeeee of things, so this doesn't really mean much to me :)
oh and the ticks are a bit retarded

being restless and agitated ✔
waking up early, having difficulty sleeping, or sleeping more ✔
feeling tired and lacking energy; doing less and less ✔
using more tobacco, alcohol or other drugs than usual ✔
not eating properly and losing or putting on weight ✔
crying a lot ✔
difficulty remembering things ✔
physical aches and pains with no physical cause
feeling low-spirited for much of the time, every day 
being unusually irritable or impatient ✔
getting no pleasure out of life or what you usually enjoy
losing interest in your sex life
finding it hard to concentrate or make decisions ✔
blaming yourself and feeling unnecessarily guilty about things ✔
lacking self-confidence and self-esteem ✔?
being preoccupied with negative thoughts
feeling numb, empty and despairing ✔
feeling helpless
distancing yourself from others; not asking for support ✔✔✔
taking a bleak, pessimistic view of the future ✔?
experiencing a sense of unreality
self-harming (by cutting yourself, for example) ✔
thinking about suicide

I really needed you today.

au revoir. xo

lol I swear I live in the park now that I always have to leave my house and have no where else

I just want to hold you right now.

loooool

I don't want things to get better with time. That's shit. That means losing. I don't want to lose -you.

au revoir. xo

plot twist: sometimes, lizzie likes methods

I am so sneaky. People around me got zeros for their english paper and yet I did not, wooo !

Think what you will, but it's called seizing an opportunity. If you won't, people around you will.

au revoir. xo

I can't do this methods exam tomorrow :(
I studied hard for it all year, and then my mind messed up this past month.
Now I am really stressed and extremely unhappy and I wouldn't be surprised if I burst out in tears mid-exam.

And there's not one single thing I can do about it. Dammit.

au revoir. xo

I feel even less free than ever, and pathetic too (Y)

I don't want to be perfect anymore :)

Enough is enough, I'll stop it.

I can't cry anymore.
I am trying but I can't.
I don't want anyone to hear me and when no one is home I just feel stupid for crying so that is that.
I am the final person judging, myself. I hate it.

au revoir. xo

P.S maybe I'll make this blog private soon, as dangerous as that may become

This is insane.
I can't sleep, I can't be awake. My skin is hot and yet I am not sick. I am just waiting, waiting, waiting.
For some sort of life from you.
However, blah blah time time so I shall continue to sit here and wait. Through today, tomorrow, my exam.
and I shall stop posting and remove that pressure from you.
I just want to call you :(

au revoir. xo

fuck this shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to lie in bed with you and forget about it all.

Come and see me in the next two days please.
Just to hug, nothing else.

I am not good enough for you, it took me two years to realize that.
Don't worry, she will be.

au revoir. xo

Mum suggested that I should have a New Years party at mine.
Mum no, lol, shtaaap it !

au revoir. xo

you came online and I wanted to start talking to you so badly but I couldn't.
lizzie, what have you done? What. Have. You. Done.

Official post of me withdrawing from most people.
There's nothing wrong with me, its all you people who I am sick of discussing things with.
You guys don't really help at all, just make things more confusing if anything.

au revoir. xo

I don't even know why people like me, it's not like I have anything desirable to offer anyway.

Don't question this post.

au revoir. xo

I dislike a lot of the things I have heard from people these past two weeks, and their opinions too.
Lesson: Don't take advice from anyone.

au revoir. xo

THIS PERSON IS GIVING ME AN ANXIETY ATTACK OMG OMG OMG
I don't even know why. I mean we are friends and yet I am scared to see them for some reason and they are being desperate, eeeeeeep.

I need to stop answering their calls siudhfiudsf

P.S this isn't a super massive freak out like it seems to be ^

au revoir. xo

400th post, only feels right to do this.

I FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT 97% OF MY YEAR LEVEL. I JUST DID THE MATH AND THIS IS ACTUALLY VERY ACCURATE.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_majkc0dTPl1qbf24xo6_250.gif

au revoir. xo

Tonight I am going to lie in the park and look at the stars.
With someone or not, I do not mind, I just need to be with nature.

au revoir. xo

Picking up your phone in the middle of the night is never a good thing. Strangely, people don't call just for a chat, they throw some life-changing things in there too !

au revoir. xo

The probability of three people making their minds up.
As you can see, there is a 12.5% chance WHICH IS FAR TOO LOW FOR MY LIKING !

au revoir. xo

There's a reason why I shouldn't have nice things, I mistreat them.

Today I became the class scribe for english ie. writing on the whiteboard for everyone

Having said this, I have no idea why she choose me. I haven't read the book and yet somehow I am the top contributor in class discussions, what?

au revoir. xo

Secret to my 'body'? Ice-cream. So much ice-cream.

I look like a little snail :)

au revoir. xo

Every morning I am gifted with the sight of people running to the bus stop.

au revoir. xo

You gave me a rose, it was big and yellow and fragrant and it was the first rose I had ever gotten, thank you.

au revoir. xo

I am never forgiving myself for this, never.

I am hurting you so much right now.
And I really can't do anything about it.
There is just more hurt and hurt and hurt.
And I really really don't like it.

This applies to two people.

au revoir. xo

I don't even care who sees me being sad.
I am because I am.
And I am no ones responsibility so kindly take your worries elsewhere.

au revoir. xo

ps I am so so close to making my blog private.

I am making EVERYONE feel like shit, I wish they all just forgot about me.

au revoir. xo

egh, I kind of like me today, even though this is a bit of a deceptive photo.

au revoir. xo

I lost because I wanted to smash the girl, not the ball.
Almost did both lolololol
au revoir. xo

You have taught me not to tell people about 'my past' because then it just clogs and clutters everything, so thank you :)

au revoir. xo

The heart sucks, the head makes sense. oh wait, no it doesn't.

They both suck.

au revoir.xo

My head is such a mess right now and it really sucks for the both of us.
I don't know if you even read this blog anymore but I really needed you to just listen one last time, not tell me that I complain too much.
That's why I hate telling people anything, but I didn't think I would hear it from you.

It's okay, don't be angry at me, I am just lost in my own mind so I am just saying silly things.

au revoir. xo

I picked up my phone to text you so many times. To just say it will be okay, I'm here. But I didn't. Why lizzie?

au revoir. xo

I still do not understand why you won't let me try to be perfect and respectable and good.
What's so bad about that?
What is so bad about being remembered nicely when I walk away?
Should I be visibly full of flaws?
I don't get it.

also, no one forces you all to even read my blog, and I don't know why you do, so don't blame me for the content

au revoir. xo

bye bye school

I wish I could just focus on school and actually do okay.
Instead I think about things, and love people -like kon
Thus abandoning all study, however most of the time I don't mind :)

au revoir. xo

I don't like most of you.
Blink and you're stabbed. Far out don't be so shallow.

au revoir. xo

When you apologise, don't say 'but'. There is no sincerity there.

au revoir. xo

So she feels she will be forever alone because guys don't see her in that way.
I wish I could show her she is worth it all

au revoir. xo

I have no motivation to do homework, and my tutor just crushed any hopes for productive methods study.
This has been another homework-less night :(

au revoir. xo

I am becoming increasingly bipolar.
What an alarming observation.

au revoir. xo

P.S I am not telling anyone my end of year methods mark, so don't even ask.

au revoir. xo

I really wonder how much this wifi hotspot is using out of my phone internet !!

au revoir. xo

By turning my internet off, you stopped my chem study.
Great job.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with the volume of my music, but I really have no choice if I wish to actually study....

au revoir. xo

So I plan on getting a summer job and working flat out
Legit, my summer holidays will be composed of holiday homework in december, beach, gym, seeing friend and working.
And this is what I need to save money for

• music concerts (mainly)
• clothes/formal if I decide I want a really expensive dress ad can have no other
• a new phone/iPad/laptop (the last two will most likely be in a few years because let's be honest, I am not becoming a prostitute for that kind of money)
• alcohol (lolololol shh)
• things my parents don't want to buy me
• BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR KONRAD/anyone else turning 18 whom I love
• yoga mat
• ROLLER BLADES !!!

So so materialistic, wow.

au revoir. xo

FANTASTIC NIGHT, SO MUCH FUN !(and copious selfies)

au revoir. xo

This week is let's pretend lizzie doesn't have credit otherwise it won't last her the month week !
You can still call me though ;)

Credit usage recommences 22 October.

au revoir.

I can just imagine the horror on peoples faces as I eat my whole apple on the bus

au revoir. xo

today's lesson

Even though you may think you have people figured out, or believe that over-thinking will lead to the answers. Sometimes it does not. Sometimes you just need to throw all logic and reason out the window to see what has been blatantly staring you in the face all this time. Often the answer lies where you would not expect it, and don't forget this. This is important. Keep an open-mind.

:)

au revoir. xo

sjfiudshdsuj I am not getting another tutor, topic closed.

au revoir. xo

I love this class.

Going to pass out as soon as I get home, if not earlier.

I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

au revoir. xo

I am not doing nay work in this class, I don't even know why I am here.

au revoir. xo

Tonight I was reminded why I do not like a portion of people in my year level.
It's because their pride is so far up their ass.
I really tired to word that nicely but that is how it is.

au revoir. xo

I am on facebook, talking to someone about things, on facebook.
Thrilling.

au revoir. xo

I am on tumblr and this chick is 14, and she got pregnant after she had sex for the first time with her boyfriend (whom she loved) at a party (it was a dare -even better) and the condom broke.
So she is keeping the baby. You know why she didn't use the morning after pill? Because 'it messes up with your period'. Hmm....

This is a very crude post and I have not taken the time be all nice and consider perspectives so I do not offend anyone however I just do not care at the moment.

au revoir. xo

What bothers me the most is that some people are either too naive to even comprehend that so many people around them are unhappy or too caught up in social status to care.
I mean, I don't care how high up or low down you are in society (as in how well off), if I see that you need to talk to someone, I will help you.
It just infuriates me that someone wouldn't help another because they are 'scummy'. I mean it's not like I went incredibly out of my way to see them or anything, I just talked to them and let them know I was here and gave them another perspective. And this is funny to hear from someone who thinks other people are scummy when their school is worse off than bentleigh in the VCE scheme of things, not that I really care about that either.

au revoir. xo

This is how the house dwellers work.

Everyone is in a shit mood and angry at each other for reasons that are irrelevant to current life, Lizzie doesn't care and is 'happy'.
Lizzie is visible 'unhappy' for once, no one cares and participate on moronic behaviour.

Thank you all. Just be normal for once and stop thinking of yourselves. I don't mean drop everything and aimlessly try to talk to me, I mean just do your own thing and let me work and stop causing a fucking nonsensical ruckus.

And then my parents do this really awesome thing where they are suddenly friends and find ways to annoy me, lolololol.

au revoir. xo

So I have a problem.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is on at 7:40.

Madagascar 2 is on 6:30-8:20.

I have seen neither.

WHAT DO I DO?!
I would rather not flick channels but waah cant miss out on half of either.

au revoir. xo

Seniors speeding on scooters.
Legit on the news.

au revoir. xo

pressing life problem #4984
My asprin tablet won't fully dissolve in the half a glass of water it is supposed to :'(
Guess it's a super saturated solution ;)

au revoir. xo

I'm not supposed to miss you or feel lonely.
My heart is ruling my head and it really sucks.

au revoir. xo


But alas, I hope to post no more things like this as I am not twelve.

I feel so saaaad :(

au revoir. xo

That was a bittersweet ending :)
Just how it should have been.

au revoir. xo

Am I supposed to be doing homework right now? lol yes I am.

au revoir. xo

Mum asked me why there is still a whole cake in the fridge, guess tomorrow is cake day !

au revoir. xo

After a long night of sitting on facebook, tumblr and qoohme at once, I am off to bed, in dismay.
I really just feel like doing one thing right now but I can't.

au revoir. xo

I don't now when or where my exam tomorrow is so I am just going to rock up around 8 and hope for the best !

au revoir. xo

If you said you cared about my academics that would be the biggest lie.

Two more years max until I can be my own person !! wooop woooop

au revoir. xo

I just really want to talk to you, but I do not have my phone yet.

Woke up regretting pretty much nothing after last night but one person seeing me in my trashiness.

~do not remember this~
and I think my parents cauht on
this will be an interesting conversation tomorrow :P

au revoir. xo

HOLEY FUCK WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A PSYCHOPATH ALL THE TIME?!

Welcome back Thomas, this has been a strange series of events.

au revoir. xo

That's one loose end tied.

Some people need a filter between what they think and what they say.
Because that is just plain rude and uncalled for, on two recent accounts.

au revoir. xo

I had such a great run last summer/beginning of year.
It will be hard to beat ! (lol maybe I'll actually go for a run ;) )

 au revoir. xo

compliments of the tutor

me: Oh yeah, well I went to the dentist today and it was just a check-up but I would like to get my chipped tooth fixed as it is cosmetically unappealing.

tutor: I didn't even notice it before you pointed it out. They like models with imperfections. Not that you should see it as an imperfection. Do you model? You should model ! Why don't you model? I mean, just take some shots for friends. You should model, I think that would be good.

me:

tutor:

me:

tutor:

me: I'm perfect.

tutor:

me:

tutor:

me: Alright, next question.

There is something wrong, I just can't pin-point what it is yet. I'll admit, it's taking me a while to figure out and for every step forward, I take two back. I wish I just knew.

No I didn't, everything is fine. Go to sleep, what the hell. Seriously, eugh, thoughts are dumb.

au revoir.

texting with my tutor.

#bestbuds

au revoir. xo

I hate watching things on abuse, especially domestic (refer to Dr Phil).

au revoir. xo

I'm a bit yolo with my tumblr right now, I just post whatever da fuq I want. *snap snap snap*

au revoir. xo

Today on the discovery channel we have squashed banana in bag. Sadly this species will be permanently removed from its habitat.

au revoir. xo

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Things to buy:

• Nike lunarglide 4+ iD
• money for the show
• CONCERT TICKETS !

Money available: $100.

au revoir. xo

I'm scared I'll die alone and let's be honest, don't really know what I'm living for then.

I'm about to idsuhciudsfdiuvfhidsfd

Asking me about it will only make it worse.

au revoir. xo

Just made my own coffee for the first time in months, and I'm eating lemon cake.
I'm afraid I'll fall asleep at my tutor which I very much do not want. :P

I am also extremely stressed over a number of things, however I am suppressing it quite well. :)

au revoir. xo

My need for sleep is somewhat higher at the moment than my need to study for psych.
I know I will be disappointed in myself tomorrow, and that's a shame but I actually cannot stay up any longer or keep my eyes open and I refuse to have coffee and completely stuff up my body so I guess I'll have to sacrifice learning (for my fave subject) :(

This is what happens when Lizzie misses her afternoon nap.

au revoir. xo

I was going to write kon a letter but that would just be utter sabotage to myself so perhaps another time, I can;t even be bothered to correct my slouching ta the moment.

Tonight I NEED to study for my psych test, and then try do do some methods if I am not dead yet, waaaah !

Oh yeah, and lol maybe I should do general first seeing as I have a test this week :/

au revoir. xo

wow I have done 9 pages of chemistry work today.
As in full mathematical stoichiometry, just wow.

au revoir. xo

Give me chicken nuggets.

Sorry Lipton, I've moved on now.
If you have an issue with this, you can take it up with T2 :P

au revoir. xo

I get the goss off tumblr faster than the news !


au revoir. xo

Too often I forget about other people's struggles, especially those closest to me.

au revoir. xo

Everything with everyone is just so strained now. It kind of sucks, you know?

Tonight has been bombshell night.

I'm sorry for any future in-sensitiveness on my part towards you, I just don't know how to process this at the moment. I mean, I'm totally fine with it, it's not even up to me whether I'm am or not. But I mean, I'm a little disappointed. I thought we were closer, I thought I would know sooner. That's okay though, I won't hold it against you, I haven't really been here for you either, haven't called or anything, that's okay. And now I see that we are a lot further apart than I thought, and I just wish you would trust me because I want to be here for you because you're important to me, and I just think it would be such a loss if we didn't talk anymore. But I don't know, it doesn't seem like we will get back to how we used to be, and that saddens me. Then again, we were a couple of naive kids back then, with feathers on our shoulders so perhaps we have both changed, and we just don't fit together anymore. Another broken puzzle. I still won't give up on you though. Even if it breaks my heart that we won't talk properly, or anything beyond small talk, just know that I am always thinking of you. I wish you could just see this and know how much I care about you, but you just won't let me in and I won't force you like the rest of the world already does. I love you.

au revoir. xo

Alright lizzie, you've had a nice little rest from the gym.
Now, back you go next week !
Or maybe en of next week seeing as study comes before gym.

au revoir. xo

A daisy for the table

What on earth has happened to society?
Where has respecting your elders, or quite frankly not being a nuisance to the general public gone?

Today on the bus home I witnessed a somewhat rowdy, bogan 20-something year old step on. Besides that, he also had a beer in his pants. Legitimately, he pulled out right out of the middle front :/ I was aware that drinking was prohibited on buses, let alone alcohol.

Apart from the fact that he was dressed far from classy, or even presentably, he was just acting completely impolitely.

With a bus full of people he proceeded to talk loudly in his drunken haze and before I knew it, he was blaring out music on his phone. And beside that being completely disrespectful and totally unmindful of others, there were so many crude and inappropriate words in his songs. It's quite simple really. If you forget your headphones, your give up the right to listen to music. Or perhaps he had headphones all along and decided to succumb us all to the atrocity, or maybe he had forgotten how to even use headphones in his state.

Anyhow, understandably an older man complained about the noise and asked him to turn it down. Of course, just like it would be expected of such a person he began verbally abusing and practically threatening him.

But what shocked me the most was that the bus driver helper (I suppose he was teaching the bus driver all the essentials), this bus driver helper did absolutely nothing to help the situation (although he has authority) and tell the bad-mannered man to be quiet and stop being irritating to all. In fact, after all the havoc, the rude man asked to turn the bus radio on, however he quite simply replied with, 'Sorry, I'm getting off in three stops". WHAT?!

Furthermore, once the older man had stepped off the bus, this helper man approached the drunk one although he could have just stood quietly like the rest of us were doing, but no. Here I was thinking he finally found some sense and was going to tell him off and ask him not to cause a further ruckus, alas he did not ! Instead, he talked to the man about how ridiculous the old man was for telling him off. I'm sorry but I hardly think that words such as c**t etc, are appropriate on public transport for all to hear.

If I wasn't just a girl with copious amounts of cutlery in my bag, music in my ears and a tattered book in my lap, then I would have most definitely spoken up !

I also became aware today that I need to correct a personal flaw of mine. I tend to overly stereotype people and treat them accordingly (in my head, I'm not flat out rude to strangers), however after today's events and their reactions thereby, I was reminded that people are not what they first seem.

au revoir. xo

Really frustrated at the moment due to a number of things.
odiuhsajdasdaskldmaskfjskfjdsnfkj

I'm so angry I can't even drink tea.

au revoir. xo

Tomorrow is suicide awareness day.
I thought it was pretty important to wear something yellow however I could not find anything.
So then I made this.

Generally my last thought before sleep is how to quietly and slyly get ice-cream however tonight I had a huggeeee craving for tea and although I have copious amounts of different ones,  I just went with the old almond tea :) (its not old, I mean it in the ye old 1800 wait no, ermm as in, like, the common one idk.)

au revoir. xo

Today is going well and the weather is perfect :)

au revoir. xo

I have school tomorrow, so I am watching copious amounts of Judge Judy.

seems legit.

au revoir. xo

I could live the rest of my life on tea.
However it has to be of up-most quality and I am picky with flavours.

So, welcome T2.

Also, if I can remember, I am dragging dad to buy me some more tea on sunday (from T2 of course) and to swap my fairylights !!

au revoir. xo

:)

Everything just fell apart.

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
My house almost blew away just then, heh.

My crepe is speaking to me, telling me what I already know about myself.

It's only 1pm and so far today I have:

• vacuumed some of the house
• washed my hair
• washed my shorts
• cleaned my room
• took all the clothes off the line
• filled the dishwasher and cleaned up the rest of the dishes in the kitchen
• whipped up some amazing crepes
• made some awesome as tea !
  

Also, I am going to buy yet another tea from T2 because one can never have enough tea and Grace and I are in love with that store !
Although I am not a huge fan of ginger, lemongrass and ginger tea is perfectly acceptable to drink cold as it still tastes fantastic!

lalalala I am going to do some homework and relax and remind dad to call up the people to fix the hot water so I can have a steaming bath :) :) :)

Oh yeah, and call my oh so amazing boyfriend !!!! :D


au revoir. xo

It will be an absolute miracle if I go to sleep in a good mood tomorrow night.

au revoir. xo

ooooh took my iPod dock, tough move, tough.

You know, not like I can listen to music on the radio, or phone, or iPod, or laptop...

au revoir. xo

Happened to me last week.



au revoir. xo

Most people probably don't know this but I hate change. I can't deal with it.
Not the kind of change that is inevitable, like life moving on.
I mean avoidable change. Like a glass shattering, or losing something materialistic.

Hence why I am in absolute turmoil about losing my psych book. That book, that book has all my work for it. The work that proves I have done something. That book that equates to long nights perfecting my favourite subject. The same book, that if not found, will make me feel like all my hard work is being undone. :(

Although it means next to nothing to everyone else, that book was my personal pride, and now it's gone.

au revoir. xo

Whipped up such a bad essay.

It's not even an exaggeration, it is truly terrible but I just don't care about it.

au revoir. xo

Legitimately four hours later I an 'done'. Tomorrow I just need to put in 300 persuasive techniques and remember it all.
I will be relaxed on friday.

I have this feeling in my stomach that tomorrow is just going to turn into a flat soft drink.

First you're all like wooooh drink, and then the time comes and its flat and you're just like, "oh".


Mind you, I don't even like soft drinks.

au revoir. xo

I want out. I want out. I want out.

Most things suck at the moment, which causes everything else to suck too.
I'm still kind of happy sometimes though :)

au revoir. xo

I am very very low on phone credit until the 5th so please do not hold lengthy text conversations with me :)

au revoir. xo

my whole body is covered in bruises.

au revoir. xo

Check my news feed on facebook and there is a photo of a girl I know but haven't seen in a while.
Thing is, I'm not sure if fat booth was applied or not, honestly.

au revoir. xo

I hate the people I live with. This is not a sad post, it's a statement.

craving a golden gaytime.

~there will be no sad posts from this moment on~

I say this time and time again but the whole 'depression' thing frustrates me.
Not in reference to other people, I mean myself.
Like no, you are happy, that is how it should stay.
It's not like I am starting to feel sad again or whatever i'm just angry at myself for being so down in the past, for writing things that other people have to read (or rather choose to). Like some of the stuff in the various social mediums I am a part of, some of the stuff I read now -over a year later and it irks me how 'emo' I was feeling.

Arghhh I am all happy happy and the more I think about all that stuff, the more I steer away from it !
All the negative influences are now repelling me :)

In other news, I get to see my boyfriend tomorroowww !! :)
So shh he was away for one day but still, it will be nice :)
AND HE BETTER NOT GET ME SICK, THAT'S RIGHT KONRAD, YOU HEARD ME !!
no kissy kissy until you're all better and not contagious.

Also, something is up with my head and today was just a very exhausting day so I may end up sleeping all through tomorrow, and after school ! (soz kon, deal with it and cuddle with me :3)

au revoir. xo

Smashed that sac, great weather, pizza, yipeeee ! :)
It would be a shame not to go outside and exercise in this rare warmth !

au revoir. xo

·         78 days until exam

·         11 weeks

·         18 chapters (8,13 are revision)

·         1,2

·         3,4

·         5,6

·         7,9

·         10,11

·         12, 14

·         15, 16

·         17, 18

·         Practice exams, checkpoints

This all NEEDS to be done.

I just have to stick to it, it will be hard.

P.S the dot points are the chapter reviews, eeeeep !!!

au revoir. xo

Recently I have been thinking.
Maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am, as unattractive as I believe, as dumb as I portray.
Maybe I am not as much as a loser as it seems.

This is me recognizing that I am something more, something better than that 10 year-old with about two friends that don't even like her.
Yesterday I got over 100 birthday messages and people who I'm not really friends with posted more than the bland 'happy birthday' message. People I am friends with posted the sweetest messages, and sent the sweetest texts.

I am finally seeing that I should have more confidence in myself and not put myself down for being me.

There is nothing wrong with recognizing your worth, however this does not mean that I will be telling everyone how great I am, because I'm not, I am just me, just Lizzie.


But lalalala people actually like me :))))
a spike in acceptance ^^

au revoir. xo

I think I am going out tonight, but maybe I am not. idk. Hence I should start some homework

ahh tonights shots didn't work out and 13 photos were wasted which is a huge shame but at least now I know how to work my camera.
Still would have loved those photos :(

au revoir. xo

I don't know where to post my selfies anymore seeing as I have spammed everywhere.

au revoir. xo

So caked, someone could eat me and not know the difference.

au revoir. xo

pwooaah, sure is hot in here, need to wipe the heat off my face !

au revoir. xo

The time from 6:30am to 10am is always the most insanse on my birthday as waiting for everyone to wake up takes foreveeer !

au revoir. xo

people can be very cute texters aiuhsfiudshfj :))))))))))

au revoir. xo

idk but I think I forgot to eat dinner.

HENCE THE YUMMY AS CHICKEN I JUST HAD THEN ! :D

au revoir. xo

I am listening to the radio and the topic of choice is to call up and admit/bad-mouth your partner -referenced from a man from North China (specifically) who sued his wife (and won) for giving birth to an ugly child and accused her of an affair (at which point she pointed out she had plastic surgery -don't understand how he could have not know about that in the first place).

"chubby, balding, I used to go out with some rather good looking people, I don't actually wake up next to him hehe, hes not really attractive -he's not great at all" were a few of the typical comments made.

WHY.

Since when is it right to a) state that your partner is aesthetically unpleasing and b) giggle and advertise this.
If you're not attracted to them, don't go out with them -it's simple. There is no need to put your loved one down behind their back. I can just imagine how immensely they love you and it would break their heart that the one that is supposed to accept them for who they are are making such remarks, it's disgusting.

I despise it -shows how simple some people are.

au revoir. xo

yeah maybe I should do some homework.


heh.

au revoir. xo

Thank you so much to my amazing boyfriend who bought me the perfect birthday present, I love you so much !! :) :) :)

au revoir. xo

Would wag tomorrow but I made salad.

au revoir. xo

things are shit again,
But you know, nothing has changed,
so I don't care anymore.

It's just a shame that these people are losing me and they are so oblivious.
I wanted to make it work, I did. I tried.

au revoir. xo

Hoping I don't fall asleep at my desk in an hour due to alcohol.

au revoir. xo

I hate snitches, hate 'em.

au revoir. xo

lalala :)))

my family thinks it's okay to just open chocolate, ummm no, that costs $50/kg so it is clearly not everyday chocolate, please take one of the other 4 blocks of dark chocolate available from the top shelf :)

au revoir. xo

sacrificing my stomach for prawns, this will be regretted in an hour five minutes.

au revoir. xo

yaaaaaaay !

so pretty yet so pricey !
http://www.incuclothing.com/shop/featured2#New Arrivals
http://www.incuclothing.com/shop/product1765#Sabrina Dehoff Rounded Square Ring with Stars

au revoir. xo

Today I went to the city to buy my birthday present (lol). It was the best. I absolutely adore the fashion as everyone seems to be well dressed and classy. I also looked at the word in a different perspective and noticed all the little things. It made my body rise and it was quite bliss :)
My vocab and structure are a bit bland at the moment but it's too late to think.


If I did not have school tomorrow I would be making roast bananas with caramel sauce right now, but alas.

au revoir. xo

I'm turning 17 next week :3

au revoir. xo

Waking up happy, it's been a long time coming.
:)

au revoir. xo

:))))

I have a whole life my parents don't know about, it's great, I'm happy in it.

au revoir. xo

Theres this person that sometimes catches my bus, which I barely ever catch, so I see them rarely, or at tennis.
Sometimes we talk, so I'd say we are friends, but not often.
Today, while getting off the bus, they smiled at me, this little cheeky 'bye but it was nice to see you' smile. :)
This was through the pack of bentleigh kids, one of which followed me home.

au revoir. xo

There is legitimately no alcohol in the house, other than the two closed bottles of wine.

Last time I checked we had a liqueur cabinet.

I am going to go insane, and sleep wont cure it.

au revoir. xo

I need to find someone who will want to cover themselves in body paint and frolic with me.

au revoir. xo

Eating everything I can hustle before I starve myself for two hours at tennis !
yolo.

au revoir. xo

Oh yeah, jokes on everyone it wasn't on. -.- nice walk though.

Things to charge, not enough chargers, living the hard life.

legitemately though. Phone, ipad, calculator, heater, clock, laptop, ipod.
Sacrifices have been made.

au revoir. xo

word vom

and I wish everyone would stop commenting on how sad or depressed I am because I get it but I don't really care.
Nor do I care much for people, only a few select intellectuals interest me. Anyone who doesn't have an interesting way of thinking is temporarily someone that takes too much effort to talk to, call me shallow, idgaf.
And I can't be bothered with making people feel good or apologizing for things I shouldn't have to so they can just get over it, however I know that a few people would be better off with an apology even if I don't mean it so I'll give one in those cases.
Arghh I just hate everyone.
I just want it to be me and a few other people, and I want to sleep with kon for days and not worry about a thing but no, the world has to be all shit. And I mean, it's just everyone with all their problems and I'm one of them and I'm most definitely not complaining about that but I just want to help them all and sometimes I don't know how but I'm working on it. :)
And I am not in a bad mood, it's quite good actually.
But father is being dumb and he is so irritating, and he constantly flicks me on the head when I say something he doesn't like which is most of the time and I just feel like punching him in the face but I can't because we are usually in the car and I don't want to cry before school or to almost die in a car accident again and he compares me to other who he doesn't like at all and it's just so shit and I want to yell at him so badly but I know he trys to do nice things which is good, but then he is also such a nasty person half the time so I don't know.
And I'm sruggling to find a time when mum actually cares about my schooling which sucks because she could help me so much with study but last time I wanted her help it was just awkward in the end even though she just had to listen to me ramble but I just felt uneasy and detached which sucks because I want to love her and she is so important to me but it's just not working right now and there is little time and I'm so so scared I'll lose her at which point I'll hate myself eternally for being such a shit daughter, but you know, it's hard putting others in front of yourself all the time.
And as if there isn't enough drama in my head, my aunty feels the need to call and tell me things I don't care about and honestly, I know they're going to be okay so I don't need to spend "a few hours" just days before my SAC in a hospital with them because they won't even be in there that long and plus I'll just go more insane being with a psychotic person and she doesn't even care that the hospital is not close to us unless I take a bajillion buses but she just doesn't care so she can just hop her ass on a plane and come here to see her if she likes (but not stay at our house because we all know how that ended last time)
And I think I'm falling again but I don't know but I'm just so sick of people trying to take care of me because I repeat for the hundredth time that I just want to be normal.
and now I always unintentionally start arguments with kon, and we legitimately never argue and it just makes him feel like shit which I hate even more but I just don't know what I want from him. I mean do I want him to pretend to care even when I don't deserve it because I'm being selfish? I don't know.

I can't even say fuck it all anymore because I don't like that language and I can't retreat into my bed of sadness because too much needs to be done and I think I will end up ruining my birthday because it will just be so shit because no one really cares and kon will try to make it special but I'll just stuff it all up because I'm such a fuck up with him which he doesn't see, nor deserve and this will make him sad and I'll hate myself even more for that but I'm just really bad with people, okay? Which also sucks because I just want to have a lot of close friends who I actually care about but there is only a few people and I don't know where I am going with this but I have cried too much and now I'm tired so I'm going to sleep.

Soz for taking up so much of your time with this post.

au revoir. xo

But you know, everything is okay and prefect when I'm with konrad and that's really enough, and we smile and giggle and love :)
I love you I love you I love you.

"Everything I touch turns to stone
So wrap your arms around me, and leave me on my own"
^^Favourite thing ever, because of the words and more importantly, who said them.

I won't ever get an A in methods because I just suck at it, I just suck at maths and that is plain and simple.
No matter how much I try I don't go well, just worse.
It no longer interests me, maybe a problem here and there is fine, but I just panic and freak out when there is a whole bunch of them because I never get them right anyway and this is my 3/4 and I just can't bring myself to be obsessed with methods because it's just so boring and I have two other math-based subjects and coincidentally I went poorly on my physics test BECAUSE IT INVOLVED MATHS so everyone who got an amazing mark for their science exam such as A and above please kindly shut up be quiet about how sad you are because that is already better than what I can achieve so I really don't know why you're complaining. It's like everyone who doesn't get A+ is dying (because its just an A or a B+) or moderately happy if it's an A+ which is just plain ridiculous. It's a ranking so obviously you all can't go swell plus I don't know why you're breaking down right now when you've still got the rest of at least Vic to go against so shush.
Also, I know my calling is literature (oh la la hidden talent) and I would try so much for english-based subjects if I wanted to but there is no place for that in my life which also sucks but I'm not even going to try and pursue it.

#notsleepybutitsbetterthanmethodssoimgoingandthenwillmiserablyfailtomorrowwhichisntevenanexaggerationanymore

au revoir. xo

heehhe whoopsies, got got caught out for tumblr, or fb, or both.

eeppppp, need an excuse presto !

ps fuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkk

Just had a conversation with a psychotic person, it was insane.
I don't ever want to lose my mind to that extent.

au revoir. xo

cycling lizzie !

the padding in the shorts is ridiculous but YOLO plus they will be super dooper comfy to ride in !!

Also, nice to see that it all fits after about 5 years, heh.

au revoir. xo

So I thought to myself, "I need to get a radio dock so I don't have to listen to it on my phone".

They're called CD players lizzie.

au revoir. xo

Tempted to make a new tumblr soon, I shall wait for another week when school is a bit less and when I'm supeeer eager !!

My super healthy CHOBANI yoghurt, woooh ! 13g protein and 3g fat ! (this is legitimately their unhealthiest yogurt :O )
It tastes a little funky, next week I shall try soy yoghurt !

Also, healthy-ish snack list coming up soon ! :)

au revoir. xo

NOW I AM OFF TO CONQUER ASSESSMENT AFTER ASSESSMENT STUDY :D

will marry who ever purchases these for me.

http://blackmilkclothing.com/collections/leggings/products/galaxy-green-leggings

au revoir. xo

Study snackin' !

au revoir. xo

I just hugged mum.

I love reading flowing intelligence. t's like music to my ears.
Here's an example.
"On the last remark, I really don't know how to accept such commendation except to be incredibly flattered and somewhat abashed, thank you kind stranger. Care to reveal yourself?"


no more, I swear.


au revoir. xo

We are only strange according to perspective, otherwise we are not strange at all.

au revoir. xo

P.S so much word vomit tonight.

I think that I was/am a major contributing factor to your food issue. I mean through my silly behaviours and calorie talk, it made you feel like you're not special enough or inadequate or whatever and got you hooked. And when I spoke of all that stuff I didn't really think how it would affect you, or how it could even and I mistakingly taught you things that only made it worse.  I'm sorry for that, for the struggles you now need to face as a direct result of that, I would take it back if I could but I can't so that sucks but I'll still be here to try and be the little bumblebee of health for you. (heart)

And I shall restrain from any unhealthy talk with you because that's not helping anyone.

au revoir. xo

Sometimes I with the media did not exist, and influence everything in my life.
That way I could at least try to be a wholesome person without all this clutter.

au revoir. xo

I need to keep working at a solid rate until next thursday, at which point I need to find something interesting to do seeing as my subconscious plan with someone fell through. I just want something to be rewarded with after so much work -if I actually go well that is.

au revoir. xo

everyone is sad, stop being sad world.


au revoir. xo

the world is a strange place today.

au revoir. xo

new challenge

eat only things where you understand everything on the label. Or most things without it getting ridiculous.
Except yakult, that shizz is tasty !

Trying this until saturday 4th, after which date I have a lot of assessments so I need heaaaps of random food :P

au revoir. xo

Those people who have judged me for 5 years are suddenly scared of being judged. They go out of their way to hold back because they strive for acceptance. Even more so than I. Interesting.
It is kind of ridiculous that you want to be accepted, but not for who you truly are, lol nice try.

Next time, don't judge me, ridicule me or gossip about me if you yourself are afraid of receiving the same treatment, hypocrites.

au revoir. xo

Just a few little ramblings !

I have resisted eating confectionery for the past few days and discovered frozen berries and yoghurt :)
Today I cycled 10 minutes straight without stopping or dropping gear which is harder than it sounds, I also ran 6 minutes straight at a pretty fast speed on the treadmill (plus it was on an incline, because running float is dumb). I know it's not much but its more than nothing. And hey, I've got to start somewhere right?
Hmmm... and I have discovered two blisters on my hands -.-"
My english oral is so bland, it's as dry as a desert and hopefully I can get some help with it tomorrow or it will be the most boring speech I have ever given. Hmppff.
I also need to return some shampoo, a lighter and $20 which I'll hopefully remember to do !
Oh yeah, and remind like 5 people that 24/7 money is due tomorrow !!

And right now I feel like sleeping, or watching tv and relaxing but no, I need to finish off this thrilling speech and then write endless amounts of methods notes, LOVE LIFE !

This has been a useless post.

au revoir. xo

Looking at cameras makes me so happy :)

au revoir. xo

So I'm always in a mess with school work because of one of two reasons.
Either I get more homework than others, or my time management is off.
Well, clearly you know that I don't get more work than others so I don't even know why that's an option, or it's time management.
Maybe it's the fact that I get home late everyday and have to sleep to avoid my family and because I won't be able to sleep peacefully if I go to bed early because it's kind of hard when you're not in a silent environment.
Maybe it's because people ask me for help and I do not put them second to myself, it's a flaw but I cannot change that.

I don't really think suggesting reasons why I keep flunking is necessary. Obviously I KNOW WHY THAT IS AND SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE.
But I do put effort in and I'm just so sick of underachieving all the time.

Today I read up on the prac we were doing for chem because I wanted to complete it correctly for once. I even planned not to work with some people because I knew they would do nothing. But alas, they promised they would do work. They did not, they KNEW I wanted to go well but them giving a shit about that was on a level of about zero.
And then the teacher yelled at us for stuffing up the prac and I swear she said 'you failed it' at least ten times.
You wanted to redeem yourself, well done Lizzie.

and if I am moody or silently breakdown tomorrow and you just don't give a fuck then don't talk to me, don't hang with me at break times, don't be around me so that I don't end up bothering you with my 'drama', it's not hard. Just fuck off in the other direction thanks.

au revoir. xo

I am like an irritated bowl of soup.

au revoir. xo

So many of my friends are unconsciously homophobes, eughh.

au revoir. xo

I'm against animal abuse.
I also felt like a pedophile when I searched Toddlers and Tiaras, which made me feel uncomfortable.

au revoir. xo

you're all living in a bubble.

People need to be more open-minded. Accept that there is a possibility that all the conspiracies are real, that religions are correct, that there are gods, that there is life beyond us, that aliens built the pyramids and the Illuminati exist.
Also, on the point of the Illuminati, if it's such a secret and developed group, then how do we even know it exists or some of he people in it? Hmmm...
I'm not saying all of this is true, because clearly none of these have been proven, or dis-proven with definite accuracy. I'm just saying that it would be naive of us to dismiss all of this just because to us, it is not certain.

au revoir. xo

P.S For some reason I am typing like a dyslexic, so it took me a while to correct it all :P

emotionally eating... muesli.

au revoir. xo

If I was a smoker, I would have to resort to using matches by now because my fingers are all sore from using my lighter so much in the past few days.

au revoir. xo

Maybe I should start some homework some day soon....

au revoir. xo

I feel a little angry and disappointed in myself that I still continue to eat sugary and unhealthy foods as late-night snacks.
I need to buckle down and eat cleeaaaan ! :)

au revoir. xo

I give people permission to kiss me on the cheek on my birthday because that is cool and, yeah.

au revoir. xo

oh gosh, I hope I went alright in my methods sac.

au revoir. xo

I want to have a girl.
I would make her feel like the most precious thing on this planet.
I would treat her like a princess, but I'd have a boy first so that she would be protected.

Something I myself, have not experienced.

au revoir. xo

More than anything I wish I could help this one person.
Help them in such a way that they were happy, in the entirety of the word.

Happiness is the best thing one could have. I mean, love yeah but if you're happy, everything is great and you are probably in love too. Anywho, this person deserves it in my eyes and it would just make my world ( :O ) if they were happy. Yeps, that's how much it means to me.

This actually applies to three people, and none of them are less important than the others.

au revoir. xo

Not to sound vain, but when I go to reblog off fiends, 90% of the time they've already reblogged it off me. True story.

au revoir. xo

methods is not my thing. Sadly, VCE is.
I will be using the first person I come across after my sac as a tissue, form a line.

au revoir. xo

bow down, food.

Today I ate so much foodies.
There was salmon, and a selective range of cheeses and chicken and just all this random as stuff !
I also did not attend the gym.
So, instead of writing it all in and adding up how many calories and protein and all that other 'important' stuff there was, I just ate it and didn't care. :)
Like wow, ate without writing *sinsinsinsinsin* jokes, no !
Yeah, I am trying to be healthy and what-not but I didn't go to the gym today which is fine because I have been tired recently due to strenuous events planned with friends that went for days.. kind of like a bender, but not (actually, pretty close to a spend-a-lot-of-money-you-barely-have-on-food bender).
So anyway, there was really no need to write anything in, who cares what I ate, or how 'bad' it was? I felt like eating it, so I did !

Now that school is back I will try to actually stick to a healthy lifestyle but that most certainly does not mean that I need to monitor EVERYTHING, ALL the time ! :)

And now I am off to eat a twix because I CAN and I'll work it off at some point in the future, and I will not wake up resembling a whale tomorrow, and if I do, that's fine too because that's all part of life. :)

au revoir. xo

Today I was taught that the world is a truly beautiful place.
I was shown beauty in things I would not expect to find it, shown that I had been blinded by my mudane eyes and forgotten about all the places that each and every one of us take for granted.
I like opening my eyes in such a way, I shall try to make a habit of doing so more often :)

I don't know, I think I changed today, in a nice way. I just realized that I want being close-minded about everything and found a new perspective which shall be interesting to explore.

au revoir. xo

Something interesting happened recently, I was accepted into an advice network on tumblr. Yeah, I know you might think it's silly or whatever, but I like it. I like the fact that I can help more people outside those that I actually know ! :)
It's nice to see that I can make someones life better in some way.

au revoir. xo

9:20/10:45

I was craving another city adventure this morning but then after breakfast/brunch which turned into lunch...4 hours later... A local adventure was just as good, if not better ! :)
I like chilled days like these :)

au revoir. xo

nostalgia kicks in :)

I had a really good day today, spent it in the city with one of my best buds (hehehe find the keyword)
and we bought yummy yummy crepes with salmon and tiramisu and chai latte and it was so chill and a little bit of an adventure seeing as SOME of us are not familiar with melbourne transport ! So I guess the oracle was right, it was an adventure !
I have also learnt that SOME people are not very good at holding umbrellas and one can easily control them with an umbrella and steer and make them your puppet, tehehehhehee

But it was a nice surprising day :)

au revoir. xo

Legitimately the extent that I can stick out my tongue.

Despite how the photo looks, I wasn't trying to look nice :P

au revoir. xo

this has been a people appreciation post.

I honestly don't know if I'm getting better.
But I like to feel as if I am. :)

Thank you to all the unknowing friends who call me just to chat and make my day, make plans with me, refer to me as their family, take me out when they know I'm not feeling social, hug me throughout class and make me giggly unintentionally, ask me how I am all the time, show me they care.
But most of all, thank you to that one person that has been with me throughout everything. Who has not left my side and listened to all my dramatic times, always made me feel needed, hugged me for hours and just cuddled (and even slept) with me despite wanting to do more thrilling things, kissed me because they can, cooked for me knowing that I am fully capable to do so myself but prefer them, given endless compliments knowing that I won't accept them, believed in me and my dreams, messed around like sillys with me, accepted my many quirks, stuck around despite me constantly pushing them away and loved me like no other.

Although we no longer send each other long essays about how amazing the other person is, that's okay. Because we have grown together beyond the point of speech. We know how the other feels about the other, we know that the little things go appreciated.

I actually love him more than I, myself understand sometimes. He means more than the world to me. I wake up thinking about him, go to sleep thinking about him and he's always in my mind in between. Although he may not be societies example of  'perfect' for a number of unknown reasons, he is perfect to me and that's what counts. Our love was quite unlikely. We both moved and we weren't even in the same social groups, let alone talk like friends for years before. We just popped into one another's lives I guess, and haven't left since.
Some people go through life, heartbreak after heartbreak and yet I have found my prince charming in one go, I wasn't even looking, how lucky.

He is perfect, the boyfriend one can only dream of, the one I didn't think could exist. To this day I cannot believe we are still together. I mean, because of me. Because I'm such a mess and such an individu-al (emphasis on the al). But none the less, he is here and I doubt I could ever leave him just like that. Even if our lives took different paths, or our friends changed. I mean, it would be madness to let so of something so special, such a little gem when you know there is nothing better out there for you. Knowing that you would regret this for the rest of your life, and that you too, would be one of the many people who fall into heartbreak.
I don't know, call me naive because I'm so young but this is just how my mind is, and how I feel. And in this moment, I am certain of how I feel, so whether or not I look back in some years time, right now this is what I want and it's the best thing I can imagine.

au revoir. xo

I could hear the orchestra starting, I miss those times so much.

But then I remember that it's not worth it and that's the only thing that keeps me away.

Funny, I'm in a good mood tonight...

au revoir. xo

no make up !

Always, ALWAYS with the lazy eye.

au revoir. xo

vampire delights

Legitimately some of the questions on the blood donor form, hmmm...

Irrelevant but I also just had a conversation with someone, and neither of us knew who the other was O.o

au revoir. xo

so many underlying meanings, clearly.

why do they play just the one Dead Letter Circus song on radio? why why why why.

Anywho, dream of the day !
I found myself and one other on a boat. I mean, one of those little boats that are attached to a large ship such as a cruise liner (this one resembled more of a military style but that's not really important). So we were sitting down and as the other person was moving over some rope, I noticed there was some (human) blood as they took no care and sat right in it.
Moments later, we heard a helicopter so we started to scream as loud as we could and flair our arms about (now that I come to think of it, helicopters make a lot of noise, how on earth would they even hear us?)
Then a rescue boat arrived (just looked like a normal boat) and we were instructed to swim over to it which was about 20 metres.
When we got there however, they suddenly claimed they didn't have enough space for two people even though they clearly did. But we didn't argue. (Oh yeah, so the aim was to get away from the large ship as soon as possible -guess it was going to blow up or something equally as disastrous)
So from this little ship we swam to the big rescue one (seriously, it was just normal people) and once we got onto it, some man was like, "Congratulations, you just swam 320 metres". Now, let's just get a few things straight, I just swam an extra 300 metres with ease, and I am not a strong swimmer in real life, hmmm...
This is where the somewhat strange part comes in. We knew these people and this man who was congratulating us seemed to be a close friend of mine. So close that at some point he started to hold my hand. I felt slightly uneasy about this so I just tried to make sure no one else saw.
Then we got back to land and appeared at school which wasn't running so I guess it was a weekend. This man turned out to be a teacher...... he was in his 30's............ I don't know what was going on there but I kept letting go of his hand (at school) as he kept grabbing it (in a nice way) because I'm pretty sure that's not too legal so hmmmm....

Oh and ps, I am most certainly not into any 30 year olds, the only guy I am into is 17 (and a half-almost) :)
just in case assumptions were forming ^^
I wasn't going to share the last part but I decided to document it.

I also had another dream which was located in Myer and a few friends of mine were there, and they were under the influence of drugs (lol) and I was bringing them water like the great friend I am (woke up, and realized dehydration doesn't occur with that drug, heh, it worked fine in the dream though, pheww)
At some point Grace turned up but I kind of waved her away (I was being friendly in that moment :P ) and then kon and oli appeared and I gave him a little kiss (twice) and then had to get back to finding these friends of mine who conveniently kept moving around.
And here's the strange part, one of the guys was someone I follow on tumblr, but I'm pretty sure he's gay in real life but none the less I thought he hated me at the start of the dream, but it turns out he just wanted to take drugs and I was unintentionally being a human obstacle by talking to his friends.

There was also ANOTHER dream, in an alley way but I do not recall that one.

au revoir. xo

P.S I am listening to "pursuit of happiness" by Kid Cudi :)

I should make this for breakfast tomorrow !
Probably wont happen but I like to hope.

au revoir. xo

miss grumpy pants signing in !

au revoir. xo

yes yes yes yes yes I have free facebook and foursquare on my phone :D
and on the bill it only shows up as 'social networking' so that's good :)

au revoir. xo

P.S I REALLY NEED TO MAKE THOSE PANCAKES NOW !

gym gym gym gym that's all I hear you say !

Just came back from my second spin class !
Right from the beginning I was already dying from where the seat comes into contact with my temple (ie. my body, because 'my body is a temple'). However once I got into it, I could barely notice which was good :)
During the first spin class, my base gear was 1 (doesn't get any lower folks), my first gear was about 3, second gear was about 5 and top gear was about 11.
Today my base gear was 8, first gear was 11, second about 15 and top gear was 18/19 !! :) (and I was barely ever on base gear, about 3 minutes out of the 45min class)
Now I don't know, maybe it was the bike but it felt pretty good to look at the gear and be able to turn it up that much. If it was the bike, then none the less, massive confidence boost ! (This now explains how the middle-aged man next to me in the last class was on base gear 11)
I was also going to do a yoga class but dad was driving past and I wasn't too fond of walking home so another time perhaps :)

I know my gym routine isn't very effective and I may be judged or scrutinized by whoever, however I am putting effort in, I am actually going to the gym for whatever exercise and I am proud of myself for that :)
Proud that I am doing something to change what I don't like, to feel better about myself.
As soon as I feel comfortable in the gym, I will do more effective things to get faster results, however I am happy to just find my feet at the moment :)

Gone are the days of not eating properly, because I much prefer to be a little more 'human-sized' than what the scales may say. Because yeah, I'm a slightly different composition but at least it's healthy ! And I can walk around with a smile on my face, confidence in my belt (do people even carry things in their belt?) and I am not putting myself at risk ! :) Oh yeah, and eat food which I'm rather fond of !

On another note, I have the worst neck cramp. It's at the front, to the side. You know when you turn your head and you can feel that muscle sticking out if you touch it? Bingo, ouchies !!
Actually not gym related though, I think I slept in a funky position.

anywho, I am going to make pancakes for breakfast (mum wanted them, I swear !)

au revoir. xo