Tonight has been bombshell night.

I'm sorry for any future in-sensitiveness on my part towards you, I just don't know how to process this at the moment. I mean, I'm totally fine with it, it's not even up to me whether I'm am or not. But I mean, I'm a little disappointed. I thought we were closer, I thought I would know sooner. That's okay though, I won't hold it against you, I haven't really been here for you either, haven't called or anything, that's okay. And now I see that we are a lot further apart than I thought, and I just wish you would trust me because I want to be here for you because you're important to me, and I just think it would be such a loss if we didn't talk anymore. But I don't know, it doesn't seem like we will get back to how we used to be, and that saddens me. Then again, we were a couple of naive kids back then, with feathers on our shoulders so perhaps we have both changed, and we just don't fit together anymore. Another broken puzzle. I still won't give up on you though. Even if it breaks my heart that we won't talk properly, or anything beyond small talk, just know that I am always thinking of you. I wish you could just see this and know how much I care about you, but you just won't let me in and I won't force you like the rest of the world already does. I love you.

au revoir. xo