Went to a friends yesterday after school and we chilled and baked and all made dinner together.
It felt weird being a part of a 'family', I had almost forgotten what that was like. It was such a good feeling, everyone was happy and there was just a general good vibe !
And then today I was out with that same friend and another and he said that his parents revolve like everything around him and his sister.
Last night I came home myself at about 8pm and all the lights were off, no one was home, no dinner was made.What a great fam fam !
I'm ignoring the fact that others may be worse off because this is my blog.
au revoir. xo
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Thursday, 29 March 2012
I can take A LOT of nonsense from your boyfriend because I love you and do not want to mess anything up for you but I will not let him tell me that he thinks the way I live is influencing you negatively.
I have know you for longer, I know things we will never know and he thinks he knows the way you are but he says things which show me that he hasn't the slightest clue in all reality.
and to be honest, I think he should be focusing a little more on your relationship rather than what we talk about. Or talk to you online rather than me as I already 'chat to guys for hours' which is really none of his concern.
that is all.
and I posted here because it sounds as if I'm verbally attacking you if I inbox you this :P
au revoir. xo
what's done, cannot be undone.
Not quite sure how I expect myself to complete around 3-5 Macbeth essays in the holidays if I struggle so much with just the one !
Hopefully Miss Browning will stop putting up with my nonsense essays and just give me helpful pointers seeing as she likes me so.
Oh, and I need to remember some sort of form of quotes from the book seeing as our class has neglected to come up with any useful ones and I can't bear to go through the whole book again and try and figure out what they all mean.
goodnight :)
au revoir. xo
oh youu
Seems I am more concerned than I initially thought, which is a good thing I guess.
Reading what you told me makes me shake. It's controllable and nothing to be afraid- or fearful of from your end but it shows me that I actually do care more than my mind will let on, which is good.
It shows me that even though I sometimes don't feel, my body tries to tell me I do.
I love you.
au revoir. xo
Reading what you told me makes me shake. It's controllable and nothing to be afraid- or fearful of from your end but it shows me that I actually do care more than my mind will let on, which is good.
It shows me that even though I sometimes don't feel, my body tries to tell me I do.
I love you.
au revoir. xo
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Don't yell at me, Julsie reblogs like 100 of these !
1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yehp !
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? (setting aside the whole konraaad thing) Perhaps, depends how mature they are etc.
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? All the bitches be jealous.
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Nope, just plenty that make me feel goood :)
7. What exactly are you wearing right now? I don't wear clothes at home ;) Or you know, a singlet and shorts..
8. How often do you listen to music? Anytime I'm not asleep.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? Yes, so much can happen in that time span ! O.o
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? social, I make friends with EVERYONE !
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Well there's K, and then there's M, but I'm not really sure what happened there and then there's R but that doesn't count, not to forget W... Nope, no A there !
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? of course, I try to be nice to everyone and I live off acceptance. I'm only bitchy if I know you and we are close as jam on toast ! (mhmm...)
16. Are you going out of town soon? I am like a hermit, study studyprocrastination study
17. When was the last time you cried? Hmm... last time I turned up to school with droopy eyes, so a few weeks ago. Wooh, go me !
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Only every moment I'm with them. And I tell my bajillion friends on a daily basis.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Yehp, even SOME SORT of tinge of brown would be better than the thing I have going on now, blue is overrated so probably a green or hazel shade.
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes, a few. One is Konrad as he stands above everyone else. But then I have a few other who I'm close too and one that needs my help and I cannot abandon. (I'm such a people person..)
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Hmm.. THE WEATHER. And probably the lack of motivation for study.. and the fact that no one is making dinner -.-"
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? yes yes yes (you hear that, konrad?)
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? You could say that, but then you'd be wrong.
24. What are you sitting on right now? A nice puffy cloud. Or my brick single bed.
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Konrad :) and a few friends, but that's all I really need. On that note- it's not really other than family seeing as they don't say that, awks.
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Romaaan :) only because he called me at like 12 before I fell asleep with my phone-not one of my brighter moments.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? A designer brand out o your price range.
30. Does anyone hate you? of course, but I don'd mind because I have all I need. :)
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? hahha nope, but I have something else in my wardrobe I really need to throw out before someone else finds..
32. Do you like watching scary movies? YES ! Doesn't mean I watch them because none of my friends actually watch them with me.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? That year I wasted in 2010. Not because I didn't have konrad, just because I was naive and did nothing of significance.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? No thankyou, I'd like to sort out most other things in my life first.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? If they're always on my mind, I'm always in theirs. Like the logic?
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? Yesterday, tuesday. Yeaa-no.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? NO. Oh wait.. heheeh only joking kon :P
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Actually, kon made that pretty clear a few days ago :)
44. What’s the best part about school? The sudden motivation I have to do well !
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Should there be a comma somewhere? Replay strange head moments? (That came out wrong) Or replay moments, in my head? -Yes to the second one.
48. Were you single over the last summer? Sure wasn't ! To be honest, I haven;t been single for ageees :)
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Two years ago- 2010. Hi, meet shy, zero-romance lizzie. I'm so different, but mostly in good ways :)
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? no. I know I can.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? yesss !
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Guys are easier to talk to but girls are irreplaceable. I have more closer guy friends though.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? One, boyfriend. It was terrible and dark at te time and I was standing in a lit section.
60. Do you hate anyone? No one came to mind just then so I guess not :)
61. How’s your heart? Confused. Sometimes it aches, sometimes it dances.
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes, and I have a current motto which is working terrifically ! "Don't think about it, don't get involved, remain distant and you will be okay" However, there is one thing that I have never told anyone but it's not major and I do not wish to seek attention for it.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? I don't know? I hope no one seeing as I'm not that bad.
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Romaano :) -pretty sure that's actually not his name.
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? Probably not, konrad would be the closest though, and Julsie. But I'm different around everyone.
72. Can you commit to one person? yes.
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Nearly, two-three people.
74. Have you ever felt replaced? Yes, but hasn't everyone at some point?
*I'm craving chicken, again*
75. Did you wake up cranky? Only because I wake up angry at myself for going to bed late every day.
76. Are you a jealous person? Yes, but not to an extreme and people don't know :)
77. Are relationships ever worth it? Of course, when they happen in the right time.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone? Waiting to see half my friend list once holidays hit and I don;t have constant homework.
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Find something useful to do since I finish school early.
81. Last person you cried in front of? Hmm.. it was a while ago so probably myself :)
82. Is there someone you will never forget? Everyone that has ever meant something to me.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? Yes, but that's the way it's supposed to work :3
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Everything. Nahh, I haven't JUST hung out with them in a while..
85. Are you over your past? As mentioned before, I am in a current state of not dwelling on anything :) It's the only way I can be happy so I really have no choice here.
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? I'm a worm, I don't have relationships.
94. Were you in a relationship in January? Why the sudden interest in my relationship history? I was, WITH THE SAME PERSON AS ALL OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS. *and breathe*
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? not even answering this. ^^
97. Who do you have texts from? I never have credit but my regulars are konrad, bianca's mum as of a week ago, Julsie, mum, morgan, Roman and a little Mendel on the side.
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Let's just say it this way, I haven't kissed anyone younger than me.
100. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Konrad every time I see him. He has gotten into the habit of handing them to me in a box though which is nice of him :)
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? (setting aside the whole konraaad thing) Perhaps, depends how mature they are etc.
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? All the bitches be jealous.
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Nope, just plenty that make me feel goood :)
7. What exactly are you wearing right now? I don't wear clothes at home ;) Or you know, a singlet and shorts..
8. How often do you listen to music? Anytime I'm not asleep.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? Yes, so much can happen in that time span ! O.o
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? social, I make friends with EVERYONE !
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? Well there's K, and then there's M, but I'm not really sure what happened there and then there's R but that doesn't count, not to forget W... Nope, no A there !
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? of course, I try to be nice to everyone and I live off acceptance. I'm only bitchy if I know you and we are close as jam on toast ! (mhmm...)
16. Are you going out of town soon? I am like a hermit, study study
17. When was the last time you cried? Hmm... last time I turned up to school with droopy eyes, so a few weeks ago. Wooh, go me !
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? Only every moment I'm with them. And I tell my bajillion friends on a daily basis.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? Yehp, even SOME SORT of tinge of brown would be better than the thing I have going on now, blue is overrated so probably a green or hazel shade.
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes, a few. One is Konrad as he stands above everyone else. But then I have a few other who I'm close too and one that needs my help and I cannot abandon. (I'm such a people person..)
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Hmm.. THE WEATHER. And probably the lack of motivation for study.. and the fact that no one is making dinner -.-"
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? yes yes yes (you hear that, konrad?)
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? You could say that, but then you'd be wrong.
24. What are you sitting on right now? A nice puffy cloud. Or my brick single bed.
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? Konrad :) and a few friends, but that's all I really need. On that note- it's not really other than family seeing as they don't say that, awks.
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Romaaan :) only because he called me at like 12 before I fell asleep with my phone-not one of my brighter moments.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? A designer brand out o your price range.
30. Does anyone hate you? of course, but I don'd mind because I have all I need. :)
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? hahha nope, but I have something else in my wardrobe I really need to throw out before someone else finds..
32. Do you like watching scary movies? YES ! Doesn't mean I watch them because none of my friends actually watch them with me.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? That year I wasted in 2010. Not because I didn't have konrad, just because I was naive and did nothing of significance.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? No thankyou, I'd like to sort out most other things in my life first.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? If they're always on my mind, I'm always in theirs. Like the logic?
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? Yesterday, tuesday. Yeaa-no.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? NO. Oh wait.. heheeh only joking kon :P
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Actually, kon made that pretty clear a few days ago :)
44. What’s the best part about school? The sudden motivation I have to do well !
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Should there be a comma somewhere? Replay strange head moments? (That came out wrong) Or replay moments, in my head? -Yes to the second one.
48. Were you single over the last summer? Sure wasn't ! To be honest, I haven;t been single for ageees :)
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Two years ago- 2010. Hi, meet shy, zero-romance lizzie. I'm so different, but mostly in good ways :)
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? no. I know I can.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? yesss !
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Guys are easier to talk to but girls are irreplaceable. I have more closer guy friends though.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? One, boyfriend. It was terrible and dark at te time and I was standing in a lit section.
60. Do you hate anyone? No one came to mind just then so I guess not :)
61. How’s your heart? Confused. Sometimes it aches, sometimes it dances.
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes, and I have a current motto which is working terrifically ! "Don't think about it, don't get involved, remain distant and you will be okay" However, there is one thing that I have never told anyone but it's not major and I do not wish to seek attention for it.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? I don't know? I hope no one seeing as I'm not that bad.
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? Romaano :) -pretty sure that's actually not his name.
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? Probably not, konrad would be the closest though, and Julsie. But I'm different around everyone.
72. Can you commit to one person? yes.
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Nearly, two-three people.
74. Have you ever felt replaced? Yes, but hasn't everyone at some point?
*I'm craving chicken, again*
75. Did you wake up cranky? Only because I wake up angry at myself for going to bed late every day.
76. Are you a jealous person? Yes, but not to an extreme and people don't know :)
77. Are relationships ever worth it? Of course, when they happen in the right time.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone? Waiting to see half my friend list once holidays hit and I don;t have constant homework.
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? Find something useful to do since I finish school early.
81. Last person you cried in front of? Hmm.. it was a while ago so probably myself :)
82. Is there someone you will never forget? Everyone that has ever meant something to me.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? Yes, but that's the way it's supposed to work :3
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Everything. Nahh, I haven't JUST hung out with them in a while..
85. Are you over your past? As mentioned before, I am in a current state of not dwelling on anything :) It's the only way I can be happy so I really have no choice here.
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? I'm a worm, I don't have relationships.
94. Were you in a relationship in January? Why the sudden interest in my relationship history? I was, WITH THE SAME PERSON AS ALL OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS. *and breathe*
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? not even answering this. ^^
97. Who do you have texts from? I never have credit but my regulars are konrad, bianca's mum as of a week ago, Julsie, mum, morgan, Roman and a little Mendel on the side.
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Let's just say it this way, I haven't kissed anyone younger than me.
100. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? Konrad every time I see him. He has gotten into the habit of handing them to me in a box though which is nice of him :)
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Monday, 19 March 2012
time to face the facts
I have come to the realization that the ONLY thing stopping me from learning at optimal capacity is that one person who just won't let me study and yells 95% of the time. The other 5% is most of my sleep time.
It's not the fact that I'm on tumblr or facebook or skype heaps, I wouldn't need to do this if I had a positive working environment.
rageee !!
au revoir xo
FAR OUT SHUT UP EWOIAHYUFDEHWFD
It's not the fact that I'm on tumblr or facebook or skype heaps, I wouldn't need to do this if I had a positive working environment.
rageee !!
au revoir xo
FAR OUT SHUT UP EWOIAHYUFDEHWFD
Sunday, 18 March 2012
busy week ahead!
This week I have heaaaps to do !
monday
- figure out log in details for interview
- do psych revision homework
- do chem homework
tuesday
- study for chem write up
- study for massive psych test
and then I am already booked put for the weekend and need to figure out when to see friends to uphold some sort of social life D:
oh, and I need to sleep !
monday
- figure out log in details for interview
- do psych revision homework
- do chem homework
tuesday
- study for chem write up
- study for massive psych test
and then I am already booked put for the weekend and need to figure out when to see friends to uphold some sort of social life D:
oh, and I need to sleep !
Monday, 5 March 2012
I have actually lost everyone.
And while I tried to convince myself that I don't need friends to be alive, that is far from true.
I have really had enough now.
I am going to make you feel bad. And when you see what's happening, you won't be able to stop it and not only will you feel bad but you will also have to pay for hospital bills and shrinks and read up on recoveries etc.
Buy hey, at least I won't be going out anywhere like the rest of my whole year level.
Hey, maybe I'll just disconnect myself from all my friends too so that you can't dislike anyone.
yeah, sounds like a plan.
au revoir. xo
ps. I can't wait two years for it to 'get better'. By then my childhood will be over.
I am going to make you feel bad. And when you see what's happening, you won't be able to stop it and not only will you feel bad but you will also have to pay for hospital bills and shrinks and read up on recoveries etc.
Buy hey, at least I won't be going out anywhere like the rest of my whole year level.
Hey, maybe I'll just disconnect myself from all my friends too so that you can't dislike anyone.
yeah, sounds like a plan.
au revoir. xo
ps. I can't wait two years for it to 'get better'. By then my childhood will be over.
need. to. sleep. through. all. of. this.
Can't believe I have to prioritize what situations I need to solve first.
In other news, I don't want to talk to anyone for the next few days so don't get moody at me for it.
Also, I really can't be bothered being happy at the moment. It's taking too much effort and I don't feel like pleasing anyone or being what I'm not.
Give me like a week to two years and I'll be fine again :)
au revoir. xo
In other news, I don't want to talk to anyone for the next few days so don't get moody at me for it.
Also, I really can't be bothered being happy at the moment. It's taking too much effort and I don't feel like pleasing anyone or being what I'm not.
Give me like a week to two years and I'll be fine again :)
au revoir. xo
Sunday, 4 March 2012
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Two things.
One: I just read over my whole blog and my writing actually used to be some-what interesting and well written. Sigh, I really want to get back to that but somehow I don't think my last story (only one person has heard it) is steering me in the right direction. ;P
Two: Leading up to formal I have become increasingly insecure about myself. Yes, it is true that someone complimented me but I don't know, I still think I can be better. This morning mum actually force-fed me breakfast (which was just a biscuit) and threatened not to go shopping if I didn't eat. In my defense my mochachino was more than satisfactory ! Did I mention this was at 3pm? But seriously, I was not hungry in the least! Since then, I have had nothing to eat and am still full however my stomach is grumbling and being annoying but I know that the second I eat, I will become hungry. eughh.
au revoir. xo
Thursday, 1 March 2012
I don't understand
Where are all my blog views coming from?
Today I got seventeen and I'm pretty sure I haven't given this out to seventeen people.
Whats going on here?
How do you know about it?
And also, how do I have so many views from other countries?
au revoir. xo
Today I got seventeen and I'm pretty sure I haven't given this out to seventeen people.
Whats going on here?
How do you know about it?
And also, how do I have so many views from other countries?
au revoir. xo
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