Looking forward to finishing my last exam for the year tomorrow and the adventure week that awaits! Still think I did barely any uni work this semester but oh well, it's been a long one!

Can't wait to get back to making wallets and shorts and tops and bracelets and such but will definitely have to source out some cool fabrics!

And excited at the prospect of working heaps to have lots of money to spend again :))

au revoir. xo

I'm so excited to move out!
Granted, it will probably be in a few years which is way too long in my head however it's just not viable to work so much while uni is on (which is the primary thing in my life..right...right..??)
Whether it be with a lover (yes, you) or a friend, I think it will be great fun and hopefully by then I will be relaxed enough in general to deal with issues that could arise. I just have this image in my head of where I want to live and what furniture I'll have and all the meals I will cook and music and smells and everythingg :))
I know, it's unlikely that things will pan out that way however if I want it enough, it is possible. Yes it might take me a bit longer because $$ but it. will. happen.

Yippeeee, I am so excited :))


au revoir. xo

Ps you were in my head for the entirety of this post

not going to sleep until I finish 10 biol lectures, slightly nerveracking as echo lecture recording is down and the lecturer adds in content, merp.

au revoir. xo

post uni/summer goals

• clean out my room so I can walk around without tripping
• do some kind of wine course so perhaps I will have an ounce of knowledge
• buy makeup/learn how to apply it nicely -and learn about eyeshadow ermagherd
• don't cut or dye hair!!!!!
• try to refrain from getting more piercings
• earn a shitton of money in december/january and consequently be zonked all the time
• be freeeee

au revoir. xo

associations//

watermelon=summer, summer=happy

eating watermelon makes me happy.


When I was younger, I used to have watermelon-eating races with my dad where the one who ate his faster would win. There was watermelon juice everywhere and our faces were sticky.

au revoir. xo

Today I started work at 7am again (sighhh) but because I was opening, I got to make the bagels we sell! Granted, I just put them together from the supplied ingredients but still... I've been wanting to do it for ages! And people bought food I made and it was just such a cool thing :))

Really going to miss him.
Such a quirky, kind, interesting individual that I was looking forward to learning from.
That's life though

He will still come around I guess, every few days at the start and then slowly less and less as things settle down and perhaps even stop one day...

I have fond memories of you. You're not dead and I'm not going to act like it and will make effort, especially after this semester, to see your pretty face.

au revoir. xo

Just completed my first assignment that was both begun and completed in the same day. 800 word psych lab report that only took me 7 hours, including 1.5 hours spent on referencing, citing and formatting..

hoping this won't happen again for a very long time!

au revoir. xo

I absolutely love work so much!!!! I feel so lucky to have found such a great job. I mean, I want to spend practically every day there!!! :))))) (this could get funny once uni starts and that's all I want to do but hopeeefully, even if for a little bit, I'll be organised enough to be able to study and work heaps)

au revoir. xo

P.S yaaaay :)))

I am watching the OC after cleaning my room and getting some boring stuff done and I feel happy :)

Recent adventures and so on

I have been meaning to write a semester recap for a while now so I guess this post will be that too.
But firstly, yesterday was quite a messy day. I just missed out on a job trial that was happening last night so instead of dwelling all day and being bored out of my mind (I must admit, there was a little bit of dwelling) I showered, printed off some resumes and made my way to the city to conquer rejection! Luckily, all the places I was intending to check out were hiring, yippee! I handed in my somewhat sad resume for a few hours -already scoring an interview/chat today and a job trial in a fancy pants cafe/restaurant next week. Meanwhile, I received a call from the place I missed out on in the morning and they asked me to come in for a trial.. in less than two hours! Keep in mind I was already in the city and needed to buy black clothing and more importantly didn't think to bring a lot of cash so I had to catch a train back to my area, get money and come back... all while only having consumed a small tub of lactose free yoghurt and a caramel latte (only because I thought I'd be home soon and/or get kebabs) quite a stressful time!
So I arrived at Asian beer cafe a little late because of the aforementioned events and so began my FIVE hour shift. It was mainly clearing tables with the occasional finger-burning pizza and trying to figure out that 'can I pay with carrot' means 'can I pay with cash' (logical now but I was derping at the time). I was very keen to impress and so I did although I did make a few little mistakes, and that's okay :)

I'm terms of uni, first semester was extremely messy and disorganised and I realized that I am never handwriting all my notes again considering I filled three and a half 140pg books... and one actually had to attend all the lectures to get the BARE minimum info which is hard in itself but overall I like it :) (this turned out a lot less interesting than I had anticipated)

au revoir. xo

Just completed my first uni assignment! It is submitting as I speak :)
Overall, the topics weren't too hard despite how much time I sat debating them and hopefully I have answered the questions appropriately although I am too sleepy to check now considering it is 3:34am (I don't have uni tomorrow and I planned to stay up late).
I spread out working on this over a week, if not a bit less and it works rather well. I cannot explain how stressed I would have been if I had to write the whole thing over night.
Hopefully I do well!

The only scary thing is how much I went over the word limit but if that is my biggest problem then good! It was a rather 'relaxed' task, with suggested word count but idk, 2,658 words when the approx suggested word count is 2,000 isn't that bad right? Yay, I am excited :))

au revoir. xo

edit: turnitin thinks I only have 2,451 words so technically I am even less over so it should be gewwwd

elp-h

So ridiculously stressed about everything that I just want to throw up and exercise manically but even that would waste time and stress me out.

Waste less time, act more, study, achieve, alter body positively, eat well, plan well, get back into a good headspace.

And don't fucking panic, suppress the panic so you don't fry your mind.

au revoir. xo

P.S why aren't panic, and and fry not part of my phone dictionary??

I'm craving again.

A room in the city, high enough to see the whole city down below. Full-wall windows with long, flowing creamy curtains drawn back to expose the raw scene. A dress to compliment and contrast the behaviour of the curtains, expensive perfume on the neck, hair loosely up.

Unshaven, burly man. Shirt with cuff links, no jacket. Expensive cologne on the neck.

Clear night with hues of blue. Multicoloured lights illuminating the life below.

Large central bed, stand-alone bath. High ceiling. Expensive place.

Passion through seduction, rich kisses and soft moments.

Lacy lingerie, tight briefs, champagne.

an unforgettable night.

I'm kind of excited for uni to start!
Hopefully the first few weeks aren't too painful in terms of settling in and buying all the necessary equipment.

I'm going to look at this as a place to make friends and study on the side. Of course I'll put all my efforts into studying but I will try and do that efficiently and hopefully it won't be as crazy as year 12 (already that is upping my head spin which has been residing in my noggin for three days...)

I'll take that back in a month ^^

In other news, camp was really fun! Other than confusing weather which made me change at least 6 times yesterday it was relaxed and pleasant. Everyone was so friendly and the atmosphere was nice and I felt confident enough to talk to others casually and was a little social butterfly and this might sound odd but I hung out with this girl who was very quiet and a bit unsocial and 'helped' her interact with others more and we danced a lot and I feel like that was me not so long ago... she also seems like a cool person with all these hidden talents -hopefully I see her again because I had trouble finding her on facebook

There were so many thoughts racing around in my head when I tried to sleep today and none of them are worthy of mention -just little things like timetabling and shapes and really simple stuff which was a bit annoying but oh well

Oh and also, there were heaps of cool people on camp and I think I have finally gotten over my ideals of everyone being a nerd at this uni because 99% of people there were 'normal' and partied hard despite their 99 atars

PS I need to work on my stutter and being tongue-tied all the time... I'm not sure when this because a thing but it's really starting to annoy me

au revoir. xo

It was nice to see him again but things are changing. It saddens me but that's just the way things are I guess.

I seek connection, comprehension, understanding.

au revoir. xo

I used to be a happy child. But then I grew up and that innocence was lost. Everyone is struggling, no one will escape it. Now I'm just emotionless and can't remember much.

"I missed you"

"okay...

    me too."

au revoir. xo

concerts/gigs I have been to

• the Wombats (2011)
• Tortoiseshell (2011)
• the Wombats (again) (2011)
• Owl Eyes (2011)
• Faker (2011)
• Two Door Cinema Club (2012)
• Jungle Giants (2012)
• the Vaccines (2012)
• Maroon 5 (2012)
• Evermore (2012)
• the Cab! (2012)
• Of Monsters and Men (2013)
• the Mammals (2013)
• Imagine Dragons (2013)
•  'the suns' -not their name but I cant remember atm (2013)
• London Grammar (2014)
• Vancouver Sleep Clinic (2014)
  cat empire
  cloud control

and I have seen these artists busking

• Passenger (2010)
• Set Sail (2014)
  the pierce brothers

and I swear I maybe may have seen the Killers but not sure when and that may very well be a lie....

au revoir. xo

a collection of short musings written over some period

I feel so nostalgic. it almost hurts.
The way you wrapped your arms around me, "are you listening, I want you to hear what I am saying"
your face was so close to mine, the music was loud and in that moment it was just us
You sounded definite. each word clearly drawn out.

I helped you into your bed
our bodies always touching
so warm so warm.
You were there, near me as I slept
I felt safe, you were present
it was hot
I watched you sleep.

I was happy

I spoke of sadness, with your arms around me
your lips touched mine in the afternoon light
we, as an entity, were warm
I fell in love with another part of you.

I'm crying from my restless heart
it only wants yours to be nearer

my bed is cold and empty, I feel this way too
yet I am happy. I  am  happy

I'm restless from this love

I always feel sad after good times, yet my mind cannot retain the memories in anything more than a fuzz.

can one feel sad for feeling happy?

I don't want to forget last night, but I greatly fear I will and I just can't, it was too precious.

au revoir. xo

I don't think I could ask for a better lover than Robert. I mean after all the trouble he went to last night (he didn't even see it as that!) to make sure I was comfortable and his lips and all the fun we had, nothing can beat this. :)

I'm v grateful for this/us

ai revoir. xo