Most things suck at the moment, which causes everything else to suck too.
I'm still kind of happy sometimes though :)

au revoir. xo

I am very very low on phone credit until the 5th so please do not hold lengthy text conversations with me :)

au revoir. xo

my whole body is covered in bruises.

au revoir. xo

Check my news feed on facebook and there is a photo of a girl I know but haven't seen in a while.
Thing is, I'm not sure if fat booth was applied or not, honestly.

au revoir. xo

I hate the people I live with. This is not a sad post, it's a statement.

craving a golden gaytime.

~there will be no sad posts from this moment on~

I say this time and time again but the whole 'depression' thing frustrates me.
Not in reference to other people, I mean myself.
Like no, you are happy, that is how it should stay.
It's not like I am starting to feel sad again or whatever i'm just angry at myself for being so down in the past, for writing things that other people have to read (or rather choose to). Like some of the stuff in the various social mediums I am a part of, some of the stuff I read now -over a year later and it irks me how 'emo' I was feeling.

Arghhh I am all happy happy and the more I think about all that stuff, the more I steer away from it !
All the negative influences are now repelling me :)

In other news, I get to see my boyfriend tomorroowww !! :)
So shh he was away for one day but still, it will be nice :)
AND HE BETTER NOT GET ME SICK, THAT'S RIGHT KONRAD, YOU HEARD ME !!
no kissy kissy until you're all better and not contagious.

Also, something is up with my head and today was just a very exhausting day so I may end up sleeping all through tomorrow, and after school ! (soz kon, deal with it and cuddle with me :3)

au revoir. xo

Smashed that sac, great weather, pizza, yipeeee ! :)
It would be a shame not to go outside and exercise in this rare warmth !

au revoir. xo

·         78 days until exam

·         11 weeks

·         18 chapters (8,13 are revision)

·         1,2

·         3,4

·         5,6

·         7,9

·         10,11

·         12, 14

·         15, 16

·         17, 18

·         Practice exams, checkpoints

This all NEEDS to be done.

I just have to stick to it, it will be hard.

P.S the dot points are the chapter reviews, eeeeep !!!

au revoir. xo

Recently I have been thinking.
Maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am, as unattractive as I believe, as dumb as I portray.
Maybe I am not as much as a loser as it seems.

This is me recognizing that I am something more, something better than that 10 year-old with about two friends that don't even like her.
Yesterday I got over 100 birthday messages and people who I'm not really friends with posted more than the bland 'happy birthday' message. People I am friends with posted the sweetest messages, and sent the sweetest texts.

I am finally seeing that I should have more confidence in myself and not put myself down for being me.

There is nothing wrong with recognizing your worth, however this does not mean that I will be telling everyone how great I am, because I'm not, I am just me, just Lizzie.


But lalalala people actually like me :))))
a spike in acceptance ^^

au revoir. xo

I think I am going out tonight, but maybe I am not. idk. Hence I should start some homework

ahh tonights shots didn't work out and 13 photos were wasted which is a huge shame but at least now I know how to work my camera.
Still would have loved those photos :(

au revoir. xo

I don't know where to post my selfies anymore seeing as I have spammed everywhere.

au revoir. xo

So caked, someone could eat me and not know the difference.

au revoir. xo

pwooaah, sure is hot in here, need to wipe the heat off my face !

au revoir. xo

The time from 6:30am to 10am is always the most insanse on my birthday as waiting for everyone to wake up takes foreveeer !

au revoir. xo

people can be very cute texters aiuhsfiudshfj :))))))))))

au revoir. xo

idk but I think I forgot to eat dinner.

HENCE THE YUMMY AS CHICKEN I JUST HAD THEN ! :D

au revoir. xo

I am listening to the radio and the topic of choice is to call up and admit/bad-mouth your partner -referenced from a man from North China (specifically) who sued his wife (and won) for giving birth to an ugly child and accused her of an affair (at which point she pointed out she had plastic surgery -don't understand how he could have not know about that in the first place).

"chubby, balding, I used to go out with some rather good looking people, I don't actually wake up next to him hehe, hes not really attractive -he's not great at all" were a few of the typical comments made.

WHY.

Since when is it right to a) state that your partner is aesthetically unpleasing and b) giggle and advertise this.
If you're not attracted to them, don't go out with them -it's simple. There is no need to put your loved one down behind their back. I can just imagine how immensely they love you and it would break their heart that the one that is supposed to accept them for who they are are making such remarks, it's disgusting.

I despise it -shows how simple some people are.

au revoir. xo

yeah maybe I should do some homework.


heh.

au revoir. xo

Thank you so much to my amazing boyfriend who bought me the perfect birthday present, I love you so much !! :) :) :)

au revoir. xo

Would wag tomorrow but I made salad.

au revoir. xo

things are shit again,
But you know, nothing has changed,
so I don't care anymore.

It's just a shame that these people are losing me and they are so oblivious.
I wanted to make it work, I did. I tried.

au revoir. xo

Hoping I don't fall asleep at my desk in an hour due to alcohol.

au revoir. xo

I hate snitches, hate 'em.

au revoir. xo

lalala :)))

my family thinks it's okay to just open chocolate, ummm no, that costs $50/kg so it is clearly not everyday chocolate, please take one of the other 4 blocks of dark chocolate available from the top shelf :)

au revoir. xo

sacrificing my stomach for prawns, this will be regretted in an hour five minutes.

au revoir. xo

yaaaaaaay !

so pretty yet so pricey !
http://www.incuclothing.com/shop/featured2#New Arrivals
http://www.incuclothing.com/shop/product1765#Sabrina Dehoff Rounded Square Ring with Stars

au revoir. xo

Today I went to the city to buy my birthday present (lol). It was the best. I absolutely adore the fashion as everyone seems to be well dressed and classy. I also looked at the word in a different perspective and noticed all the little things. It made my body rise and it was quite bliss :)
My vocab and structure are a bit bland at the moment but it's too late to think.


If I did not have school tomorrow I would be making roast bananas with caramel sauce right now, but alas.

au revoir. xo

I'm turning 17 next week :3

au revoir. xo

Waking up happy, it's been a long time coming.
:)

au revoir. xo

:))))

I have a whole life my parents don't know about, it's great, I'm happy in it.

au revoir. xo

Theres this person that sometimes catches my bus, which I barely ever catch, so I see them rarely, or at tennis.
Sometimes we talk, so I'd say we are friends, but not often.
Today, while getting off the bus, they smiled at me, this little cheeky 'bye but it was nice to see you' smile. :)
This was through the pack of bentleigh kids, one of which followed me home.

au revoir. xo

There is legitimately no alcohol in the house, other than the two closed bottles of wine.

Last time I checked we had a liqueur cabinet.

I am going to go insane, and sleep wont cure it.

au revoir. xo

I need to find someone who will want to cover themselves in body paint and frolic with me.

au revoir. xo

Eating everything I can hustle before I starve myself for two hours at tennis !
yolo.

au revoir. xo

Oh yeah, jokes on everyone it wasn't on. -.- nice walk though.

Things to charge, not enough chargers, living the hard life.

legitemately though. Phone, ipad, calculator, heater, clock, laptop, ipod.
Sacrifices have been made.

au revoir. xo

word vom

and I wish everyone would stop commenting on how sad or depressed I am because I get it but I don't really care.
Nor do I care much for people, only a few select intellectuals interest me. Anyone who doesn't have an interesting way of thinking is temporarily someone that takes too much effort to talk to, call me shallow, idgaf.
And I can't be bothered with making people feel good or apologizing for things I shouldn't have to so they can just get over it, however I know that a few people would be better off with an apology even if I don't mean it so I'll give one in those cases.
Arghh I just hate everyone.
I just want it to be me and a few other people, and I want to sleep with kon for days and not worry about a thing but no, the world has to be all shit. And I mean, it's just everyone with all their problems and I'm one of them and I'm most definitely not complaining about that but I just want to help them all and sometimes I don't know how but I'm working on it. :)
And I am not in a bad mood, it's quite good actually.
But father is being dumb and he is so irritating, and he constantly flicks me on the head when I say something he doesn't like which is most of the time and I just feel like punching him in the face but I can't because we are usually in the car and I don't want to cry before school or to almost die in a car accident again and he compares me to other who he doesn't like at all and it's just so shit and I want to yell at him so badly but I know he trys to do nice things which is good, but then he is also such a nasty person half the time so I don't know.
And I'm sruggling to find a time when mum actually cares about my schooling which sucks because she could help me so much with study but last time I wanted her help it was just awkward in the end even though she just had to listen to me ramble but I just felt uneasy and detached which sucks because I want to love her and she is so important to me but it's just not working right now and there is little time and I'm so so scared I'll lose her at which point I'll hate myself eternally for being such a shit daughter, but you know, it's hard putting others in front of yourself all the time.
And as if there isn't enough drama in my head, my aunty feels the need to call and tell me things I don't care about and honestly, I know they're going to be okay so I don't need to spend "a few hours" just days before my SAC in a hospital with them because they won't even be in there that long and plus I'll just go more insane being with a psychotic person and she doesn't even care that the hospital is not close to us unless I take a bajillion buses but she just doesn't care so she can just hop her ass on a plane and come here to see her if she likes (but not stay at our house because we all know how that ended last time)
And I think I'm falling again but I don't know but I'm just so sick of people trying to take care of me because I repeat for the hundredth time that I just want to be normal.
and now I always unintentionally start arguments with kon, and we legitimately never argue and it just makes him feel like shit which I hate even more but I just don't know what I want from him. I mean do I want him to pretend to care even when I don't deserve it because I'm being selfish? I don't know.

I can't even say fuck it all anymore because I don't like that language and I can't retreat into my bed of sadness because too much needs to be done and I think I will end up ruining my birthday because it will just be so shit because no one really cares and kon will try to make it special but I'll just stuff it all up because I'm such a fuck up with him which he doesn't see, nor deserve and this will make him sad and I'll hate myself even more for that but I'm just really bad with people, okay? Which also sucks because I just want to have a lot of close friends who I actually care about but there is only a few people and I don't know where I am going with this but I have cried too much and now I'm tired so I'm going to sleep.

Soz for taking up so much of your time with this post.

au revoir. xo

But you know, everything is okay and prefect when I'm with konrad and that's really enough, and we smile and giggle and love :)
I love you I love you I love you.

"Everything I touch turns to stone
So wrap your arms around me, and leave me on my own"
^^Favourite thing ever, because of the words and more importantly, who said them.

I won't ever get an A in methods because I just suck at it, I just suck at maths and that is plain and simple.
No matter how much I try I don't go well, just worse.
It no longer interests me, maybe a problem here and there is fine, but I just panic and freak out when there is a whole bunch of them because I never get them right anyway and this is my 3/4 and I just can't bring myself to be obsessed with methods because it's just so boring and I have two other math-based subjects and coincidentally I went poorly on my physics test BECAUSE IT INVOLVED MATHS so everyone who got an amazing mark for their science exam such as A and above please kindly shut up be quiet about how sad you are because that is already better than what I can achieve so I really don't know why you're complaining. It's like everyone who doesn't get A+ is dying (because its just an A or a B+) or moderately happy if it's an A+ which is just plain ridiculous. It's a ranking so obviously you all can't go swell plus I don't know why you're breaking down right now when you've still got the rest of at least Vic to go against so shush.
Also, I know my calling is literature (oh la la hidden talent) and I would try so much for english-based subjects if I wanted to but there is no place for that in my life which also sucks but I'm not even going to try and pursue it.

#notsleepybutitsbetterthanmethodssoimgoingandthenwillmiserablyfailtomorrowwhichisntevenanexaggerationanymore

au revoir. xo

heehhe whoopsies, got got caught out for tumblr, or fb, or both.

eeppppp, need an excuse presto !

ps fuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkk

Just had a conversation with a psychotic person, it was insane.
I don't ever want to lose my mind to that extent.

au revoir. xo

cycling lizzie !

the padding in the shorts is ridiculous but YOLO plus they will be super dooper comfy to ride in !!

Also, nice to see that it all fits after about 5 years, heh.

au revoir. xo

So I thought to myself, "I need to get a radio dock so I don't have to listen to it on my phone".

They're called CD players lizzie.

au revoir. xo

Tempted to make a new tumblr soon, I shall wait for another week when school is a bit less and when I'm supeeer eager !!

My super healthy CHOBANI yoghurt, woooh ! 13g protein and 3g fat ! (this is legitimately their unhealthiest yogurt :O )
It tastes a little funky, next week I shall try soy yoghurt !

Also, healthy-ish snack list coming up soon ! :)

au revoir. xo

NOW I AM OFF TO CONQUER ASSESSMENT AFTER ASSESSMENT STUDY :D

will marry who ever purchases these for me.

http://blackmilkclothing.com/collections/leggings/products/galaxy-green-leggings

au revoir. xo

Study snackin' !

au revoir. xo

I just hugged mum.

I love reading flowing intelligence. t's like music to my ears.
Here's an example.
"On the last remark, I really don't know how to accept such commendation except to be incredibly flattered and somewhat abashed, thank you kind stranger. Care to reveal yourself?"


no more, I swear.


au revoir. xo

We are only strange according to perspective, otherwise we are not strange at all.

au revoir. xo

P.S so much word vomit tonight.

I think that I was/am a major contributing factor to your food issue. I mean through my silly behaviours and calorie talk, it made you feel like you're not special enough or inadequate or whatever and got you hooked. And when I spoke of all that stuff I didn't really think how it would affect you, or how it could even and I mistakingly taught you things that only made it worse.  I'm sorry for that, for the struggles you now need to face as a direct result of that, I would take it back if I could but I can't so that sucks but I'll still be here to try and be the little bumblebee of health for you. (heart)

And I shall restrain from any unhealthy talk with you because that's not helping anyone.

au revoir. xo

Sometimes I with the media did not exist, and influence everything in my life.
That way I could at least try to be a wholesome person without all this clutter.

au revoir. xo