This again.

I'm sorry that I'm dramatic. But this secret is so hard to keep!
It is actually killing me, and I can't tell anyone.
It's killing our relationship. It's killing my future. It's killing my happiness. It's killing me. It's killing absolutely everything, me.

One went to bed, the other unresponsive, the third unapproachable, the fourth too troubled and the last too drunk.
And yet it's killing me and no one knows.

au revoir. xo

Anti-tech

It's not fair, no matter if I try or not, nothing ever works.
I don't do homework, it doesn't get done, obviously. I get pumped to do my geography project after practically asking for all the answers and my charger decides to die. Finally get a new charger and re format my whole project so it's more reader-friendly and set out all nicely like graces. What happens next? THE WHOLE LAPTOP DECIDES THAT IT WANTS TO STOP WORKING COMPLETELY. 

Arghh I hate this. I want to be a normal person who doesn't have to battle it out with their laptop on a weekly basis.

But guess what? I'm going op shopping with my boyfriend tomorrow and I'm so excited! Probably more excited than him now that I think of it, hmm...

au revoir. xo

hmpff bipolar hmpff

I took this test for some fun/ avoiding homework..
http://www.depressedtest.com/

Oh gosh :/
Does this mean you were right about me? ahhhh, what am I supposed to do now...? :(

On another note, as mentioned before my days are based on how good my mornings are, MY MORNING WAS HORRIBLE. I missed about 3 buses and ran and stressed an awful lot... all before going home and getting mum to write me a note *sigh*
But something amazing happened :)
I saw Kon at school,  and well... he looked really really reaaallllyy good today and I got those butterflies between period one and recess waiting to see him. He actually asked me what was wrong as my tooth was chipped again (no one but him noticed) and all though I said nothing, he still really cared :')
He held my hands and just made me feel like me, needed. He even checked my wrists.. and although I have never cut and I deleted my post before anyone read it... he still checked. But he did it in a really gentle and loving matter which made me think that I could never hurt him like that.
And then he was lying on me and I just though, 'oh gosh, I'm so glad I didn't miss out on doing this'.

So in conclusion, there is something that can fix my day, kon. :D

Having said all this, one of the worst things that could happen would be if I made him to scared to leave me, if I depended upon him so much it made his life hard, that would be...the worst thing.

But you know what? I'm working on being carefee, no... relaxed and chilled, and I've started drinking tea and starving eating really healthy this week! I have been vegetarian for the past four days! (not including the leftover meatballs I ate/ 1 chicken strip) Well, one has to start somewhere ! Kidding, I love chicken!

This was all a little pointless, sorry I haven't been posting much.. tumblr has been taking up most of my time.

au revoir. xo

-edit- I looked up bipolar information on the website and good news, only a few of them fit! (so I guess I'm clear for now, unless I become mental and invent the disorder in my mind) Cyclothymia on the other hand... but you know what? I'm not going to look it up ever again as I know that many of these things can be triggered my mental thoughts, I mean if the person thinks they have it, they will display symptoms regardless of if they actually have it or not, much like a placebo effect.

ahhhh, james blunt is making all my worries melt away :)

I AM NO LONGER LISTENING TO THIS QUIZ !

The only reason I get sad sometimes. Yes, sad.. not depressed, sad. Anyway, the only reason is my family. And during the past few months I have learned not to care and bounce back, so that is what I will continue doing.
It's funny, I have been smiley for the majority of today, it's great.. I feel great ! :)

This was a rather useless post to be honest, oh well ! :) :) :)

edit 9/9/2013 -oh how naive I was (and probably still am)

......

-post was too graphic and therefore removed for everyones good-