this has been a people appreciation post.

I honestly don't know if I'm getting better.
But I like to feel as if I am. :)

Thank you to all the unknowing friends who call me just to chat and make my day, make plans with me, refer to me as their family, take me out when they know I'm not feeling social, hug me throughout class and make me giggly unintentionally, ask me how I am all the time, show me they care.
But most of all, thank you to that one person that has been with me throughout everything. Who has not left my side and listened to all my dramatic times, always made me feel needed, hugged me for hours and just cuddled (and even slept) with me despite wanting to do more thrilling things, kissed me because they can, cooked for me knowing that I am fully capable to do so myself but prefer them, given endless compliments knowing that I won't accept them, believed in me and my dreams, messed around like sillys with me, accepted my many quirks, stuck around despite me constantly pushing them away and loved me like no other.

Although we no longer send each other long essays about how amazing the other person is, that's okay. Because we have grown together beyond the point of speech. We know how the other feels about the other, we know that the little things go appreciated.

I actually love him more than I, myself understand sometimes. He means more than the world to me. I wake up thinking about him, go to sleep thinking about him and he's always in my mind in between. Although he may not be societies example of  'perfect' for a number of unknown reasons, he is perfect to me and that's what counts. Our love was quite unlikely. We both moved and we weren't even in the same social groups, let alone talk like friends for years before. We just popped into one another's lives I guess, and haven't left since.
Some people go through life, heartbreak after heartbreak and yet I have found my prince charming in one go, I wasn't even looking, how lucky.

He is perfect, the boyfriend one can only dream of, the one I didn't think could exist. To this day I cannot believe we are still together. I mean, because of me. Because I'm such a mess and such an individu-al (emphasis on the al). But none the less, he is here and I doubt I could ever leave him just like that. Even if our lives took different paths, or our friends changed. I mean, it would be madness to let so of something so special, such a little gem when you know there is nothing better out there for you. Knowing that you would regret this for the rest of your life, and that you too, would be one of the many people who fall into heartbreak.
I don't know, call me naive because I'm so young but this is just how my mind is, and how I feel. And in this moment, I am certain of how I feel, so whether or not I look back in some years time, right now this is what I want and it's the best thing I can imagine.

au revoir. xo