white shadows.

Last night I found myself wishing I was you.
As I looking into your eyes I though about how much better it would be.
It was the first time I had done that in nearly one and a half years.
Now, I can't judge but you're just so carefree all the time and you're always in control and you're motivated, and persistent, and nice, and lovely, and loved by all, and hip, and friends with everyone, and you know what you want, and you don't put up with nonsense, and you act on instinct, and you are just great in general.
And I'm a little jelly of you. I can't decide whether or not I feel this way because you're so chill about it or because it's actually bad for you.
That's why I reacted like a spazz last night and just went with it, that's why I didn't put any thought into my response.
But that's also what made you so goddam attractive in that moment.
I just don't know how I feel and what reasons I have.

But hey, I love you and you'll forever me mine. :)

au revoir. xo