elp-h

So ridiculously stressed about everything that I just want to throw up and exercise manically but even that would waste time and stress me out.

Waste less time, act more, study, achieve, alter body positively, eat well, plan well, get back into a good headspace.

And don't fucking panic, suppress the panic so you don't fry your mind.

au revoir. xo

P.S why aren't panic, and and fry not part of my phone dictionary??

I'm craving again.

A room in the city, high enough to see the whole city down below. Full-wall windows with long, flowing creamy curtains drawn back to expose the raw scene. A dress to compliment and contrast the behaviour of the curtains, expensive perfume on the neck, hair loosely up.

Unshaven, burly man. Shirt with cuff links, no jacket. Expensive cologne on the neck.

Clear night with hues of blue. Multicoloured lights illuminating the life below.

Large central bed, stand-alone bath. High ceiling. Expensive place.

Passion through seduction, rich kisses and soft moments.

Lacy lingerie, tight briefs, champagne.

an unforgettable night.

I'm kind of excited for uni to start!
Hopefully the first few weeks aren't too painful in terms of settling in and buying all the necessary equipment.

I'm going to look at this as a place to make friends and study on the side. Of course I'll put all my efforts into studying but I will try and do that efficiently and hopefully it won't be as crazy as year 12 (already that is upping my head spin which has been residing in my noggin for three days...)

I'll take that back in a month ^^

In other news, camp was really fun! Other than confusing weather which made me change at least 6 times yesterday it was relaxed and pleasant. Everyone was so friendly and the atmosphere was nice and I felt confident enough to talk to others casually and was a little social butterfly and this might sound odd but I hung out with this girl who was very quiet and a bit unsocial and 'helped' her interact with others more and we danced a lot and I feel like that was me not so long ago... she also seems like a cool person with all these hidden talents -hopefully I see her again because I had trouble finding her on facebook

There were so many thoughts racing around in my head when I tried to sleep today and none of them are worthy of mention -just little things like timetabling and shapes and really simple stuff which was a bit annoying but oh well

Oh and also, there were heaps of cool people on camp and I think I have finally gotten over my ideals of everyone being a nerd at this uni because 99% of people there were 'normal' and partied hard despite their 99 atars

PS I need to work on my stutter and being tongue-tied all the time... I'm not sure when this because a thing but it's really starting to annoy me

au revoir. xo

It was nice to see him again but things are changing. It saddens me but that's just the way things are I guess.

I seek connection, comprehension, understanding.

au revoir. xo

I used to be a happy child. But then I grew up and that innocence was lost. Everyone is struggling, no one will escape it. Now I'm just emotionless and can't remember much.

"I missed you"

"okay...

    me too."

au revoir. xo

concerts/gigs I have been to

• the Wombats (2011)
• Tortoiseshell (2011)
• the Wombats (again) (2011)
• Owl Eyes (2011)
• Faker (2011)
• Two Door Cinema Club (2012)
• Jungle Giants (2012)
• the Vaccines (2012)
• Maroon 5 (2012)
• Evermore (2012)
• the Cab! (2012)
• Of Monsters and Men (2013)
• the Mammals (2013)
• Imagine Dragons (2013)
•  'the suns' -not their name but I cant remember atm (2013)
• London Grammar (2014)
• Vancouver Sleep Clinic (2014)
  cat empire
  cloud control

and I have seen these artists busking

• Passenger (2010)
• Set Sail (2014)
  the pierce brothers

and I swear I maybe may have seen the Killers but not sure when and that may very well be a lie....

au revoir. xo