a new year

So I haven't blogged for like a month and properly in even longer!

Today my significant other downloaded heaps of Death Cab For Cutie music for me! :)
Right now I'm writing this, listening to it and trying to restrain myself from finishing the box of chocolate also from him.

So the past few months have been eh eh.. No overnight visits but still a few bad days...

Sidenote: THIS MUSIC IS AMAZING !
Beware: the chunky paragraph below does not want to split into smaller paragraphs like I want it to so it's not my fault..

Anyway, my social life has been pretty good-not fantastic but still better than average. :) yes, whilst it is true that I haven't seen all of my friends such as Julsie pants and Alex for ageees I've got to spend so much time with kon!

It's good to see that even after a whole year of me twirling around him and nagging him to download me random shizz all the time and bitching about peeps and all this other irritating stuff I do.. We are PERFECT. <3 Hmm what else what else.. Well guess I'll talk about him for a little longer. Yesterday we went shopping (I kind of forced him, I'll admit) but it was great! We walked around all coupley-like and bought him jeans (oh so sexy) and then just before leaving we went to lush which just happens to be like my favourite shop...oh and its like a handmade soap kind of thing-you really have to look it up to know what I'm talking about.. Anyway, he bought me all these bath bombs and I was beaming by the time that we left. It was so sweet I was all jumpy jumpy happy happy in my head :) tehehheehe and we ate dumplings and walked around and it was fun! Now onto Alex, well I haven't seen you for like a year-or at least since my birthday WHICH TOO WAS AGES AGO! now I get that you're busy as I have more talk-time with your answering machine than with you (true story) but well I want to see you soon! Zooommgg, maybe we can go to the ciand ill chill? I know this cute tea room that a friend showed me and it's classy but oh so chique! :) well, I know that you read this so feel free to text me or call me or what-not to tell me what you think about my idea as I am likely to forget very soon :p On another note, COME BACK TO SCHOOL PLEASE! Arghh we used to have so much fun and the lockers were cool and 'that' rose and all this other stuff that we did :) don't forget TOM and random other things we signed up for foolishly (I still have the photos) And to be honest I'm becoming a different person, like this happened especially towards the end of the school year and well.. I'm not sure if its good or not! D: so come back and keep me grounded and like I was before-kind of pleeaasse :) Oh, and I love you ! Next is dear Graceline. You ma' dear are living it up in France and there have been so many times I have wanted to chill and bitch and watch Sherlock and dance and other cool stuff we used to do! It sucks that the time difference is ridiculous so we never actually have a proper conversation together and well yeah.. I'll probably inbox you this as you don't have this link yet heh... Anyway, come back soon please because I miss you more than you know! I'm always like, 'let's go shopping with grace' or 'I feel like coffee/lunch with grace' or 'come to the beach grass' or even 'I feel like crashing at yours and being chillers today grace' but no, you're halfway across the globe.. Nevermind you'll be back soon and things shall be swell. :) you too, are one of the ones that I need to hang with more to stay the Lizzie you know.. No pressure ! Hahaha hmmm, well theres your little confession letter deary. <3 Gabs Gabs. Besides you still not being in Melbourne things are pretty awesome between us at the moment. :) there's not much I can say pr even slip in an inside joke as we have FAR too many! But I guess that's what makes us the cool cats that we are! Mr. Kettle. Well, what can I say? We like never talk anymore.. Either I'm asleep or your away or it's just bad timing but I miss our conversations! But you know what? It's okay, because when we talk we shall have ages through the night and we shall be silly and I'll probably complain or bitch or both and go away for like a bajillion food breaks and come back and complain of being 'fat' but hey, what's what we do right? :) and don't you think it's nice to just read my blog and not panic or stress or text me for fear of what I'm foolishly doing. :) mwaah xxxx Sidenote: it's this music that's making me so relaxed. And last but not least, Julsie. Yes, I am well aware that we aren't talking as much-hell we barely converse at the moment! But I guess it's just one of those times.. It don't mean that our friendship is deteriorating or that I don't care or what-not and you know that I'm there if you really need me but yeaah..fear not I shall spam you sooner or later! So, this turned out to be a little long as post made for people even though I said I wouldn't blog for others but I guess I just needed to voice my thoughts to them without talking in their face. :)

and I'm happy happy happy and it's all thanks to my handsome man. When ever I am lacking in the love department ie. You feel unloved, please don't! You are the most special thing I have and as I told you today YOU are the one I can tell anything to. I've tried to fit you into the bestfriend category as well as lover category but it just seems strange. I mean, you're not really my bestfriend- you have your own group which is different but terrific in so many ways! and I love you so very much from the bottom of my feet up to the tip of my hair because well, we all know that that's lower than out heart-come on! Plus if one were to say 'from the bottom of my heart' it only makes me think that there's so much stuff piled on top of that that it's a little less significant which you most definitely are not! And plus, feet don't really store much important stuff anyway so my love is the only thing occupying them. THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE, YOU HEARD CORRECTLY! I love from the bottom of my feet, what of it? You're all just jealous that I thought of this and I'm so alternative.

So, I hope that made you smile and good day! I am now off to sleep/watch gossip girl/tumblr/watch tiny planets and OF COURSE devour the rest of the chocolate.. My oh my I'm becoming the size of a dugong! (but only in my head, only in my head....)

I love you all!

au revoir. xo

This is never going to end

I hate everything again, everyone too- myself included.
And I'm getting sick of being asked about it.

au revoir. xo

This again.

I'm sorry that I'm dramatic. But this secret is so hard to keep!
It is actually killing me, and I can't tell anyone.
It's killing our relationship. It's killing my future. It's killing my happiness. It's killing me. It's killing absolutely everything, me.

One went to bed, the other unresponsive, the third unapproachable, the fourth too troubled and the last too drunk.
And yet it's killing me and no one knows.

au revoir. xo

Anti-tech

It's not fair, no matter if I try or not, nothing ever works.
I don't do homework, it doesn't get done, obviously. I get pumped to do my geography project after practically asking for all the answers and my charger decides to die. Finally get a new charger and re format my whole project so it's more reader-friendly and set out all nicely like graces. What happens next? THE WHOLE LAPTOP DECIDES THAT IT WANTS TO STOP WORKING COMPLETELY. 

Arghh I hate this. I want to be a normal person who doesn't have to battle it out with their laptop on a weekly basis.

But guess what? I'm going op shopping with my boyfriend tomorrow and I'm so excited! Probably more excited than him now that I think of it, hmm...

au revoir. xo

hmpff bipolar hmpff

I took this test for some fun/ avoiding homework..
http://www.depressedtest.com/

Oh gosh :/
Does this mean you were right about me? ahhhh, what am I supposed to do now...? :(

On another note, as mentioned before my days are based on how good my mornings are, MY MORNING WAS HORRIBLE. I missed about 3 buses and ran and stressed an awful lot... all before going home and getting mum to write me a note *sigh*
But something amazing happened :)
I saw Kon at school,  and well... he looked really really reaaallllyy good today and I got those butterflies between period one and recess waiting to see him. He actually asked me what was wrong as my tooth was chipped again (no one but him noticed) and all though I said nothing, he still really cared :')
He held my hands and just made me feel like me, needed. He even checked my wrists.. and although I have never cut and I deleted my post before anyone read it... he still checked. But he did it in a really gentle and loving matter which made me think that I could never hurt him like that.
And then he was lying on me and I just though, 'oh gosh, I'm so glad I didn't miss out on doing this'.

So in conclusion, there is something that can fix my day, kon. :D

Having said all this, one of the worst things that could happen would be if I made him to scared to leave me, if I depended upon him so much it made his life hard, that would be...the worst thing.

But you know what? I'm working on being carefee, no... relaxed and chilled, and I've started drinking tea and starving eating really healthy this week! I have been vegetarian for the past four days! (not including the leftover meatballs I ate/ 1 chicken strip) Well, one has to start somewhere ! Kidding, I love chicken!

This was all a little pointless, sorry I haven't been posting much.. tumblr has been taking up most of my time.

au revoir. xo

-edit- I looked up bipolar information on the website and good news, only a few of them fit! (so I guess I'm clear for now, unless I become mental and invent the disorder in my mind) Cyclothymia on the other hand... but you know what? I'm not going to look it up ever again as I know that many of these things can be triggered my mental thoughts, I mean if the person thinks they have it, they will display symptoms regardless of if they actually have it or not, much like a placebo effect.

ahhhh, james blunt is making all my worries melt away :)

I AM NO LONGER LISTENING TO THIS QUIZ !

The only reason I get sad sometimes. Yes, sad.. not depressed, sad. Anyway, the only reason is my family. And during the past few months I have learned not to care and bounce back, so that is what I will continue doing.
It's funny, I have been smiley for the majority of today, it's great.. I feel great ! :)

This was a rather useless post to be honest, oh well ! :) :) :)

edit 9/9/2013 -oh how naive I was (and probably still am)

......

-post was too graphic and therefore removed for everyones good-

smiley butterfly project

Once again I was doing homework sitting on tumblr and came across something. I was aware of this before however as with most other things, it kept slipping my mind. Anyway, I would paste the link if I hadn't though it was a smart idea to close the tab, silly lizzie.
Moving on, it was a little butterfly drawn in permanent marker on ones wrist whenever they felt like cutting. It's purpose was to stay alive, obviously.
The point is that you're supposed to keep it on your wrist as long as possible and you are not allowed to wash it off. If you cut before it comes off, then you have killed the butterfly. If you have more than one butterfly on your wrist then cutting kills them all.
*I do not cut. Personally, I'd rather not have a reminder of the bad times on my wrist.

So what I was trying to say is that I am going to do the same thing but with one smiley face on my wrist drawn when I am sad etc. etc. And Every time after that when I'm not happy I shall just look at its cute little face and move on. :)

Feel free to draw one on my wrist.


Now I'm becoming all mopey because of this post... LALALALALA SMILEEE :) tehehhehe

au revoir. xo